We Will Live In Starlight
by AnnabelleLily3
Summary: She walked in starlight in another world. He walked on a path of stone right beside her. Even in their differences, their love would endure.
1. Chapter 1 -From the shadows to the light

_Hi! I, as a die-hard Tolkien fan, felt very annoyed when Tauriel was brought to the story. It only lasted until I saw the incredible dyinamic between her and Kili. Their love story was not necessary, but felt so refreshing and beautiful. Even with an inevitably devastating end, the development of their feelings for one another was really well written and well played. _

_Kiliel haters, get the hell outta here! :D_

_This will be my take on their story._

_Warning - character death. I guess you all know already what's going to happen... Nevertheless, they deserved to be happy so I'll give them a chance._

_Enjoy and please, take a moment of your time to review!_

* * *

**_Chapter 1 – From the shadows to the light_**

_I will save you._

She could hear her own voice in her head while she was running down the river bank. Sharp rocks tainted with orc blood and bodies. Even unarmed, even hurt, even on the run, they managed to kill quite a lot of them. The dwarves would not have survived without their help, but their bravery and skill were admirable nevertheless.

But she could not think of the others. There was only one that mattered. The black haired archer, as the filthy orc called him earlier. For he had a Morgul shaft in his thigh. For he had a fill of deadly poison in his veins.

_I will save you._

Once again she repeated her own promise, this time out loud. She would save him. She only had to reach him in time, before the shadows took him away, forever robbing his soul of rest in the Halls of Mahal.

Legolas caught up with her. She knew he would follow. King's words echoed in her mind and she knew him to be right.

"It is not our fight."

She looked him in the eyes, deep into his blue eyes that reminded her of his father. "It is our fight." She exhaled slowly, returning her gaze to the lake. "With every victory, this evil will grow. Tell me, mellon, when did we let evil become stronger than us?"

They understood each other and Tauriel had known he would have followed her even without those words. But she needed to voice them. She needed to give herself another reason for defying her King. She needed to give herself another reason aside from the warmth spreading through her chest every time she remembered his deep voice or dark eyes. She had lived for six hundred years but she had never felt more alive.

They reached Esgaroth just in time to stop the orcs from slaughtering innocent children and the remainder of dwarves. When she entered the wooden house, she saw him laying on the bed in the corner, his skin gray and cold with sweat. Shadows were slowly claiming hir soul but still he managed to lift his broken body and kill the orc behind her. With an excruciating cry of pain, he fell onto the floor. Her eyes were fixed on his, deep dark brown spark of life in them slowly vanishing into the realms of the unknown.

Legolas, her Prince, called for her. They had protected each other's life before in battle and he needed her by his side again.

But she could not move. She could not move for his pain seared through her own body. For a mere second she wondered what was happening to her. Probably a stray orc caught her in the moment of weakness and pierced her chest with a blade. But no, her flesh was not wounded. It was her soul that kept screaming with pain.

Her head snapped to the left and she breathed out with relief. Athelas. Athelas. The blessed plant would help her to reach her own light and share it with his soul.

A very shocked dwarf before her stood frozen, wondering out loud what she was going to do. She looked at him with a gleam of hope.

"I am going to save him."

A blonde-haired dwarf and another, older one lifted him onto the table. But he could not lay still. Burning pain ripping through his body and soul made him scream. Every touch hurt him. She knew that because she could feel it too. She caught the blonde one, Fili, she remembered, staring at her with a silent plea in his eyes.

With Athelas in hands, she started a prayer learned long ago. An ancient chant of her people.

Overwhelming power of her words removed the shadows concealing his soul. The pain subdued and he looked at her in disbelief. Still chanting the healing words, she reached for him, pulling him away from the darkness. His soul obliged to her will with ease, trusting her. He closed his eyes and passed into the unconsciousness.

The prayer had left her weak. But she smiled at his sleeping form. Her sigh of relief and overwhelming gratefulness to the Valar revealed something to her, something that could no longer be hidden.

She loved him.

Ever since she was a little girl, Tauriel had suffered. Her family was taken away from her while she was just an elfling. The king graciously took her under his own care, but she was never loved. She had never felt complete. She had never been happy. Up until the moment just few nights ago. Until she met the dwarven Prince who stole her heart.

He was reckless and daring, so full of life. But at the same time so innocent and gentle. Her breath was taken away by his playfulness. She told him of her love for stars and found him enchanted by her words. Never before had she shared her love for the white light of forever filling the skies above the forest.

He told her of the bright moon following his path near Ered Luin. No one knew it, but the young dwarf loved the stars. He loved their light, even if they were cold and far away. But she made them timeless. She took interest in his story of the moon and sat beside him. Only the bars divided their bodies.

"I wish I could have shown you." Their eyes met and she couldn't help but wish for it too. They continued talking far into the night. The celebration above them was slowly becoming louder and louder, but they were lost in their own private world. He told her of their quest and the dangers they had already passed. There was not a note of bragging in his voice when he told her of their escape from the goblin tunnels or their encounter with Azog the Defiler. Tauriel was impressed, but found it even more endaring. Kili, his name was, obviously loved his uncle and brother with his very soul and would gladly give his own life to protect theirs. He was brave and his bravery was sometimes reckless, but his soul was pure.

She caught herself bearing her soul to the dwarf. Telling him of her childhood and her life in Mirkwood. Of her wishes and dreams of freedom. Their soft laughter echoed through the stone halls.

"Tauriel." His silent plea brought her back. He was very pale and very weak, but alive...and seeing him alive brought a smile to her face. "Lay still."

"You cannot be her. She is far away... She is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world." She gasped for air. She could hear her own heartbeat growing louder. His expression changed, sadness overtaking him. "It was just a dream."

She wanted to touch his face, to tell him she was really there with him only to realize that he was not wrong. It was a dream. It was not meant to be. She was an elf and he a dwarf. A royal dwarf from an elf-hating family. It was and ever will be just a dream.

With great care he touched her hand. She willingly intertwined her fingers with his. Warmth started spreading through the rest of her from that small part of her body connected to his.

"Do you think she could have loved me?"

_Yes._

She didn't voice her answer for he was lost to the realms of dreams. Exhaustion overtook him and he succumbed to sleep but his hand never left hers. She was frozen in her place, a young dwarf all but admitting his love to her and asking for hers in return took her breath away.

_Yes._

Fili lifting his brother from the table thus breaking the bond between them made her lose her balance. She grabbed the edge of the table only a moment before she hit the hard wooden floor.

"My lady." The young dwarf's hands were around her shoulders now. "Come. You too need to rest."

The world was spinning around her when she got back onto her feet. Without a second thought, she placed her tired body next to the sleeping form of Kili on the bed.

Near him, she felt secure.

Near him, she felt alive.


	2. Chapter 2 - From the Light to the Fire

_**Chapter 2 – From the light to the fire**_

Fili leaned his back against the table and silently observed their sleeping figures. Sometime during the night, Kili's arm wrapped itself around she-elf's shoulders, pulling her closer and now her head was resting in the crook of his neck. After the inhumane suffering his little brother lived through, after the torture his body endured, he finally seemed at rest. And completely relaxed.

Fili would not pretend he had not heard the one-sided conversation between them. Love. Was it really what his brother felt for the she-elf? Could it really be true? Fili knew the answer without a doubt. Yes, his little brother fell in love with an Elf.

Kili had always been the reckless one. But this, even for Kili, was completely shocking and unexpected. But it was true. He saw the look in his brother's eyes when she healed him. He saw the unmistakable bond forming between them that very night and also a hint of it from before. He knew they had somehow bonded in the cellars, against all odds, but he would never even dare to guess their bond was so strong and so deep. Also, the way she looked at him. For a moment, before regaining her composure, Fili could see the full range of emotion dancing on the usually cold creature's face.

By Mahal, never had he thought something like that could occur in his lifetime. Nevertheless, he found himself smiling at the two of them, curled up against one another.

Kili started to open his eyes just as his brother left the room. Her hair that reminded him of fire tickled his chin. He turned his head a bit and rested the side of his face against hers.

It was not a dream.

She really was there.

He should probably worry about the things he had told her in delirium. He sounded like a drunken elf, for Mahal's sake. But he did not care. She would know anyway. His soul reacted to her presence as a pet to its master. She reached for him into the darkness and he blindly followed. He would have followed her anywhere. He still would.

They were pressed tightly against one another in the corner bed. There was no one else besides them, but he imagined their solitude would not endure for much longer.

"Tauriel..." He whispered.

He whispered and her name on his breath stirred something inside of her. She had been asleep, but now her eyes opened and fully met his burning gaze. A hand of hers placed itself against his chest and the feeling of his accelerated heartbeat against her skin made her shiver.

"Tauriel..." His words were audible to her and to her only for his voice was as silent as a whisper.

"I open my eyes to the only sight I wished to meet." Her breath caught in her throat. "You were not a dream, Tauriel."

"Kili..." Her eyes laid upon his parted lips, a soft sigh escaping through her own.

His experience taught him that life was short and cheap. That is why his sudden acts of rebellion against the odds marked him a reckless dwarf. But he knew his mortal life was short and he would not have any regrets. That was why his hand placed around her shoulders brought her closer to him while the other one snuck upon her waist. He suddenly but gently pulled her towards him and descended his lips onto hers.

Tauriel was taken aback by his sudden action, but found herself grabbing his shirt and bringing her lean body even closer to his. She had never felt that way before. His lips were warm, but on her skin they felt like burning fire. The feeling of his hard muscles hidden beneath layers of fabric made her shudder. The stubble on his face tickled her skin, but she liked the feeling. She felt him pouring all of his passion for her into that kiss. He kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

When their lungs screamed for air, they parted lips but not the rest. Her hands were still laid upon his chest and his were still holding her tightly against him.

She had lived for six hundred years, yet she had never felt more alive than in that moment.

His eyes bore through the walls she alone built around her, crashing them and revealing her naked soul. And in there he could see and feel the whole of her, because the two of them were now one.

He whispered foreign words to her in ancient Khuzdul language of his Fathers, and even though she did not know what they meant, they warmed her heart.

At the same moment, a rather loud cough was heard in front of the door and a moment later the blond haired dwarf entered the premises. They had just enough time to place distance between their bodies, even though unwillingly. Tauriel felt cold. Without him she felt as if a part of her was missing and by the look in his eyes she knew he felt the same.

His brother had a serious face expression, but with a hint of mischief in his eyes. Fili soon couldn't help the corner of his lips tugging up in a shy smile. Kili knew his brother would stand beside him no matter what life threw upon them, but in that particular situation his heart grew tenfold with the love he held for him. He met Tauriel's eyes and enveloped her slender fingers with the rough skin of his hand and again felt overwhelmed by the sheer joy the slightest touch of her skin brought him.

She slowly smiled, her cheekbones reddened. Fili could not help but to laugh out loud.

"By Mahal, I would give away half the treasure of Erebor just to see Thorin's shocked face right now."

Tauriel shied away but Kili grinned widely. All he needed really was the approval of his brother. Others did not matter. He would gladly give his life for Thorin, but would not seek his approval concerning the matters of his heart.

Fili spoke again. "I believe it is a time for a proper introduction, my lady. I am Fili, son of Dis. Brother of Kili. Sister-son of Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain. At your service." He slightly bowed, finishing his rather formal introduction.

"Yes, Crown Prince, you can relax now. She already knows who you are, you orc-face." Kili grinned.

Fili smiled at his brother and helped him to his feet. His wounded leg was still weak and could not support his weight. He managed to limp by his brother's side those three steps towards the chair and then slumped upon it. With the bliss of his love in his arms gone, his general state became painfully evident to him. His leg was already healing marvellously, but it would need another few days to regain full strength. Even with the excruciating pain gone, he felt wasted, as if an entire legion of orcs marched over his back. His brother eyed him cautiously and came to the same conclusion. Kili would not see the Halls of their Fathers until his leg had healed.

Tauriel excused herself and left the two brothers in privacy. Fili noted how his brother's gaze followed her features to the door and beyond. When she was gone, his features were left without light, succumbing to the shadows. It was not the world of shadows now dragging his soul into the cursed oblivion, but shadows of the matters of one's heart. The bittersweet agony engulfing his little brother's soul was plain to him, for he knew where their path would lead them in the shortest of time and he knew she could not follow. At least not for now.

It was surreal, almost unbelievable how the two of them loved one another. She did not need to voice her feelings to him for her heart's secrets were evident in her eyes. Kili felt as if his chest would explode into shards from the pressure building up inside of him.

Once outside, Tauriel steadied herself against the wooden wall and took a deep breath. She too could feel the pain of sheer distance placed in between them piercing her soul like an arrow.

But there were other matters to attend to. She disobeyed her King, and even more horribly, betrayed her friend. Legolas was counting on her assistance and she left him to the mercy of orcs. He was more than capable of defending himself and fighting even greater numbers of them if needed, but still, she abandoned him. And her heart pained with regret she could not really feel.

Kili ventured into her life uninvited. Unexpected. And yet, mere days, even less than a week, passed before she pledged her soul and fate to him.

The older dwarf, Oin, greeted her with warmth in his eyes. "My lady, as I have told Fili, I will have to tell you. I have heard tales of the wonders of Elven medicine. What you did for Kili yesterday was an honour to witness." With that, he bowed slightly. Tauriel smiled and bowed in return. She could not help the growing feeling of familiarity and warmth towards the dwarves.

Soon behind the graybeard dwarf, human children followed. Sigrid, Bain and Tilda were their names, children of Bard from the line of Girion. The young ones were slightly entranced by her presence for her people lived in isolation, and even the close proximity of the mighty Halls of King Thranduil did not bestow upon them an opportunity of seeing an Elf with their own eyes. They returned together to their home, only to find another dwarf snoring loudly from the bed Kili had laid in moments ago. The other three were laughing at him. She tried to reason that Kili should be the one resting, but he stopped her with a grin.

"Don't mind old Bofur there. He's had a harsh few days. Really, a heavy hangover after a night of drinking only to wake up and realize you are late for the most important quest of your life, then watching a Prince of yours dying upon your hands only to be shocked again by a pack of orcs attacking you in the middle of the night just to see the two elves arriving just in time to save you all." The others laughed out loud and started throwing various objects in Bofur's direction, but Kili's gaze met hers. "Saving some of us more than the others, anyway." The corner of his lips twitched upwards making her own blood warm up in her cheeks.

She joined Sigrid and Tilda in preparing a warm meal for them all, but kept stealing glances towards him, only to find him staring back. One of those times his brother caught them smiling at one another from across the room and snorted loudly. "Make that two thirds of Thror's gold..."

The day was passing quickly and the night was almost upon them. The children went to search for their father in the company of three dwarves while Tauriel and Kili remained in the house. Colour was slowly returning to his skin, but he was still weak even though he alone would never admit it. As soon as the doors closed, she was in his arms, bringing her lips to his. His leg betrayed him once again and they fell onto the bed together, laughing.

"Do you not worry of the fate of your Uncle and Company?" She silently wondered.

"No. They are alive. I am sure of it." He smiled upon her. Then his smile turned bitter and he closed his eyes. Really, there was no way they could live in their own dream for much longer. "But we will be leaving for Erebor soon. Too soon..."

She closed her eyes and nodded.

"Tauriel, I..." His voice grew vary. How could he voice his thoughts? How could he ask of her to leave her life behind and follow him? He was afraid. He did not understand this. They belonged together, but by Mahal, he was sure there was not one person who would deem it wise. Not that he cared for the opinion of others, he cared for her wishes. He knew he would follow her to the edges of Arda. To the fallen dooms of Mordor itself, where a shadow of a once great evil still lurks. But how could he wish upon her to be with him when he could not tell her?

"I know, Kili." She whispered.

His fingers tangled into the red flames of her hair and he brought her forehead to rest against his. Their eyes closed, they remained silent in the intimacy of the moment.

"I will not let it be just a dream." He whispered softly. "I will not let this go without a fight. It is not in my blood, Tauriel."

She met that burning gaze of his dark eyes that seemed to bore into her soul, to read her like a book. And she smiled. For she knew what he spoke was the truth.

"It will not be just a dream." She repeated.

At that moment, the remainder of the dwarves alongside the human children barged into the house. Something was wrong. Tauriel could sense it even before laying her eyes upon the teary figures of Tilda and Sigrid.

"It is Da! They took him!" Sigrid cried. "Master's men took him."

Dwarves and children talked, or better say, shouted, but Tauriel blocked their voices in her head. There was something else, another voice... And loud wind... But that wind was not natural, there was something more to it. She slowly opened the door and looked up into the skies above her. She could feel Kili shifting towards her, feeling her sudden change of demeanour.

Then she heard it. Deep, rich ancient voice full of anger and hatred.

"I am fire... I am death..."

A dragon.


	3. Chapter 3 - The Parting of Ways

**_Chapter 3 – The parting of ways_**

The dragon descended onto the city of Esgaroth bringing fire, death and ruin. None that remained could escape his wrath.

Now lingering on the shore amongst the lucky survivors, Tauriel was helping the wounded and attending to Bard's children, Sigrid and Tilda, who were desperately trying to find their father and brother.

A dull ache set into her heart because she had known that moment would eventually come. After the death of Smaug, dwarves would surely follow their kinsmen to Erebor. With the dragon escaping the city, they could not be sure if their companions still lived. However, she had lulled herself into a state of dream, convincing her heart that their time together would last a while longer. But deep inside she had known then as she knew now, dwarves would go and Kili would follow. Who was she, after all? Who was she to stand between him and his kin?

When the first light appeared on the horizon, the dwarves started preparing for their departure. Tauriel could not bring herself to be around them for the pain in her chest was almost too much to bear. But Kili found her.

"Tauriel." Her name on his breath sent shivers down her spine. She looked into his eyes and saw the same fear that was engulfing her entire being.

"Kili! Come on, we're leaving!" Fili, Bofur and Oin were pushing the boat back into the lake.

She sighed and looked away from his deep brown eyes, trying to remain composed.

"They are your people. You must go." She barely managed to keep the steadiness of her voice. She looked into his eyes and saw the hurt her words caused. She had to look away from him because it was too much...

"Then come with me." Her body froze. Her eyes met his and the tenderness she saw there stunned her. She wanted to reason with him, to tell him it would not even be possible, but the words got lost somewhere on the path from her mind to her mouth.

"I know how I feel. I am not afraid." He moved closer. The doubts that had been clouding his mind disappeared and the path before him was as clear as daylight. He was not afraid anymore. "You make me feel alive."

She wanted to tell him, oh how she wanted to tell him that was exactly how she felt. Before him, there was only survival. With him, there was life. Life as it was supposed to be.

Elves were created to endure. To live. They would live their long lives slowly spending the earthly years given to them. Sometimes they would share those years with the one they would meet somewhere on the path. The one was their one and only for their hearts were not as strong as the rest of them. To love for an elf meant to bind their own lives to their loved ones.

Could it be? Could Kili really be her one? She knew she loved him, but such a sacred union between a dwarf and an elf was surely unheard of. Their people would not approve. Kili's family would not...

"I can't..." Her voice broke. She wanted to tell him how she wanted to go with him, to go with him anywhere... But she could not. Not yet. Maybe not ever. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She had to look away once more.

"Tauriel." His hand on her arm stopped her. She met his gaze and saw his desperation. "Amrâlimê."

Upon hearing the same foreign words, warmth spread through her chest, erasing the fear and grief rooted there. She did not speak the secret language of dwarves, but her heart translated them nevertheless. She remembered his soft whisper from the day before when he held her in his arms whispering of the promise of future and freedom. _Amrâlimê_.

"I do not know what that means." She said shyly, but the fluttering in her belly convinced her otherwise immediately.

For a moment he kept looking into her eyes, silently deciding something before smiling. "Oh, I think you do."

He smiled gazing into her eyes, bearing her soul naked without a word or a touch. Tauriel found herself mesmerized once again by the sheer gentleness emitting from his eyes. And then, she knew.

There was no going back. Everything before her vanished. Only he remained. There was so much left unspoken between them for they could understand one another without words.

But upon hearing those words_... Amrâlimê_, he said, she knew. From the moment they met, she could feel something pulling her towards him, forming an unbreakable bond between them that only grew stronger by the moment.

_Sevog i veleth nîn. Gerog i chûn nîn mi i chaim gîn._

The words echoed through her mind. She wondered if others of her race felt the same as she did when realizing for the first time that they found their one. Was it normal to feel your heart growing in your chest, your soul aching? No. Tauriel knew her feelings were unique and her bond with her one was stronger and purer for it was not ever meant to be. Her one was not of her race. Her one was a dwarf. Their love was forbidden, but it was as pure as starlight.

A small smile appeared on her lips and she took a step towards him. Really, it was what they both wanted. Kili loved her, and even if he did not know what her own love for him meant to her, she loved him too.

_I will not let this go without a fight._ His words echoed in her he was fighting for her. For them.

Then she felt it. She could sense the very presence of her lifelong friend standing behind her. Her breath hitched in her throat because she suddenly felt the almost overwhelming burden of her own betrayal crushing her. She disobeyed her King, but more important, she betrayed her friend.

Kili's eyes fell. She could feel his annoyance and hurt, making the burden on her soul even heavier. Legolas commanded her to let go of the dwarf because she was needed elsewhere.

Kili neither spoke nor understood Sindarin, but the situation was obvious to him. She needed to go with her Prince. He needed to follow his friends and kin. His brother. He glanced one last time into her sad green eyes that had always reminded him of the forest. There were so many words left unspoken, so many feelings left unacquainted. Just before Legolas came, Tauriel wanted to say something. A part of Kili's heart was crazily convinced she would agree to follow him. But they had to part ways.

Maybe it was for the best. He would be reunited with his uncle and she would be pardoned by her King. They would return to their lives, their friends and kin and someday... someday, maybe they could find one another. Someday they _would_ find one another.

But why did it hurt so much? Why did his own chest feel like it would explode into pieces, leaving his vulnerable heart to inevitable death? Why did he, while looking into her eyes, feel like he would never see her again?

It was over. Smaug was dead. Erebor, their homeland, was reclaimed. But why did he _feel _like there was some sort of a devastating peril before them, waiting for them to relax before pulling them into darkness?

He enveloped her cold slender fingers with his calloused ones. She gasped because the touch of his skin on hers reminded her just how much her life depended on his now.

He placed something onto her palm and closed her fingers around it with his own hand. Like the night before, when he poured all of his undying love for her into a kiss, he gazed into her eyes and smiled, wanting nothing more but to be able to kiss her lips again. They could feel the connection between them, like a pull of one soul to another.

"Keep it." He whispered, bringing their intertwined hands over his heart. "As a promise." He was devastatingly sad but still managed to smile, to give her a glimpse of his own hope.

She wanted to speak up, to tell him so much, but the words would not leave her mouth. She only managed a small smile before he turned away and followed his brother.

She stood there, on the shore of a lake, frozen in place. It took her a moment to realize something was still clutched in her own hand. She opened her palm and gasped, tears welling in her eyes.

The runestone. He gave her his own runestone as a promise to come back to her.

The dark blue stone was heavy in her hand, but with memory and promise of what was and what would be. When one tear found its way across her cheek, she looked up and saw him gazing back at her, the stream already carrying him away.

_Return to me._

She was staring into the unfamiliar runes, but their meaning was plainly obvious to her. He would come back to her. He would return to her, for her.

She clutched the stone tighter and brought it over her heart, wordlessly holding onto his unspoken promise.

And when they would be reunited, she would tell him. She would willingly open her heart and soul to him and tell him.

_Sevog i veleth nîn. Gerog i chûn nîn mi i chaim gîn._

* * *

Legolast was standing behind her, observing her in wonder. She could feel his gaze on her back, but could not bring herself to look at him for her feelings were still written all over her face. He was her friend, but nevertheless, the same prejudice and hatred resided in his heart, even though unwillingly. But even without that, he would not approve for his heart longed for her. She could never return those feelings, but hurting her friend was hurting her heart as well.

When she finally managed to look him in the eyes, a messenger from his father arrived, informing them of her banishment. A dull ache spread through her chest, but the words only confirmed her fears. She would have to endure the consequences of her willing actions.

But Legolas would not hear of it. He would not discard her as his father had. Rather than following orders, he summoned her to join him. There was a dark spark in his eyes, a glimpse of grief long forgotten.

"Those orcs carried a mark I have not seen in a long time." He informed her with a grave voice. "The mark of Gundabad."

She raised her head. "Gundabad?" The name was familiar, bringing back memories of darkness and death she did not witness, but had heard a lot of. Legolas would not say a word further, but his eyes sent her a silent plea to follow. Tauriel nodded, feeling there was more to it than met the eye.

She stole a glimpse towards the lake for one last time. Their boat was barely visible, only a small black dot disturbing the smooth surface of the lake. The stone still clutched in her hand felt heavier. She looked at the runes once more before securing the stone in the breast pocket of her armour, keeping the memory of him and his promise close to her heart.

* * *

Kili would not look back. He would not look back again until they reached the other side of the lake. Once their boat hit the stones of the shore and they felt the ground under their feet, he turned around and looked back at her. She was there no longer, he would not be able to see her even if she were. But his body was succumbing to the weight of the world placed onto his shoulders.

He had to go. He had to leave her. There was no other choice for him any way. His brother stayed behind for him. Fili did not stand on the side of Thorin when they walked into the Halls of their Fathers for the first time in centuries. Fili, the heir of the King.

_I belong with my brother._

And they did belong with one another. In life or death, one would not go where the other could not follow.

Fili was watching him closely all the time. From the moment they started preparing for their departure, Kili had been... He had been silently grieving. He still was. He could not be angry with his little brother for falling in love with an elf. It was insane, but... Well, it was Kili.

Kili had been the reckless one, but brave and courageous nevertheless. Fili knew the depths of Kili's loyalty. But also he knew how his love for the she-elf, Tauriel, would be perceived. As an act of treason. Rebellion. Thorin would not hear a word of it. The hatred for elves has been rooted deep in his uncle's heart for years and it would not go away lightly. Their recent imprisonment also brought fuel to the fire. But Fili had seen the mercy behind their acts, he had seen the love hidden in their souls.

What would be of it, he did not know. All he knew was that Kili was suffering greatly. He has been deep in thoughts since the moment he parted ways with her. But the same could be said for her. There was a moment on the shore when Fili honestly thought they would stay together, even if it meant for her to accompany them. However, it was before the blond elf appeared and it was probably for the best.

They had obligations to fulfil. Their uncle was probably waiting for them in Erebor, already mending the damage done by the dragon. There was also an alternate story of which Fili would not even think. For it would mean that he was... a King. And their uncle... No, he would not even think of it.

All was well. Day was cold but their path was clear. They were nearing Erebor and each step brought them closer to their homeland, to their Kingdom. However, Kili was walking on his side, but his thoughts were far away and his eyes were dark.

Fili could not contain the warmth spreading through his chest when they laid their eyes upon the walls of Erebor for the first time.

The entrance was torn apart, leaving a gaping hole that led into darkness. Into ruins. The remainder of their company was nowhere to be seen and before they knew it, they found themselves running towards the city, fear gripping the heart of each and every one of them.

Before long, Bilbo appeared, stopping them in their tracks. They were alive, all of them! But...

"It's Thorin." Bilbo caught his breath finally. "He doesn't sleep. He barely eats..."

Soon they were running towards the vast halls filled with gold. It was a sight to behold. Never had Fili and Kili seen so much gold in one place. And not just gold, there were precious stones as big as rocks. They stood there frozen, not able to comprehend the sight before their eyes.

Suddenly, Thorin walked before them. He was wrapped in a royal cape, his fingers adorned with jewels and his eyes glimmering with reflection of gold coins around him. He cast a glance upon them and introduced them to the great treasure of Thror, their great-grandfather. Fili and Kili just kept standing wordlessly, a mixture of feelings overwhelming them.

Kili was beyond happy for finally reaching their homeland, his home he had never seen before. They grew up listening to their mother's and uncle's tales of the great halls carved in stone. But being inside Erebor was breathtaking. Seeing their homeland, their... their birthright, for they were Thorin's heirs, was overwhelming.

However, neither failed to notice the darkness flickering in their uncle's eyes. Nor the pride or heaviness of his voice. He was different. Mere minutes were enough to notice how before them stood not the same Thorin Oakenshield they both knew and loved. Before them now stood Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain.

"Welcome, my sister-sons, to the great Kingdom of Erebor." He stated proudly.

Kili knew something was wrong and he could still feel the grief eating up his soul, but he could not help but feel honoured and proud.

Their journey came to an end.

* * *

They found the rest of their company in the nearby chambers. Shouts of happiness and relief reached them immediately and all wanted to hit Kili's back. Kili and Fili sat amongst them and started retelling what happened in Esgaroth.

"Kili, lad. You look far better than before." Balin stated.

Kili smiled shyly and silently nodded. He wanted to tell them of her, how she came and saved them, saved him, but... But then he remembered why they parted and it caused him immense pain. He loved each and every one of them, but they alone were the reason he had to let go of her. So instead of giving her and that elven Prince praise that was well deserved, he smiled and remained silent.

Fili needed one good look at his brother to know what was going on in that head of his. He smiled. "After you went away, we took shelter at Bard's house. A pack of orcs attacked the house, nearly killing us before..." He took note of Kili's intense gaze upon him. "Before the elves came. Two of them, Tauriel, the red-haired Captain of the Guard, and that blonde Prince. They killed the orcs and Tauriel healed Kili."

Kili's gaze shifted onto the floor, his cheeks slightly reddening, and others wordlestly stared at Fili.

"An elf? An elf healed him? Whatever for?" Dwalin demanded.

Fili hurriedly answered because he was aware of his brother's temper. "They learned from the orcs in their custody that one of us was poisoned with a Morgul shaft," the company's eyes widened in shock, "and they came to our aid."

Kili gasped. Fili was telling them too much, too much for his liking. What Tauriel did for him was sacred in his mind, private. She was his angel, his saviour, and he could not stand for much longer their accusatory and questioning glances. What did they come to? Was it really so hard to believe that an elf was ready to help a dwarf or the other way around? Was it really that unbelievable?

"Yes. She healed me." He could remain silent no more. "And she got to me just in time. I was fading away to the shadows and her light reached me when I was on the edge..." He sighed and closed his eyes. "If it weren't for her, I would be dead. Actually, death would be a beautiful alternative to the place my soul was fading away to..."

_Great. You can simply tell them that you love her. You should've kept your filthy mouth shut._

Silence was deafening. But when he looked up, he saw them silently nodding. They may not like the elves, many of them could not stand their very existence, but an elf saving one of them gained their respect. Fili was looking at him proudly, a hint of a smile on his lips and a promise of a serious talk in his eyes.

They told them of Bard the Bowman and his heroism, proclaiming him Bard the Dragonslayer, a name and an honour he deserved. But they also told them of the great peril Smaug brought to the people of Lake-town. Many fell that night, but those that remained needed help. Cold winter was upon them and they needed shelter and food. Thorin, their King, would honour his word and help those poor souls, there was no doubt in it.

Soon they cheered up, relaxing for the first time after months of stress and danger. Some of them were old enough to experience the joy of returning home. Some of them were children when Erebor fell and remembered the Halls of their Forebears more from glorious stories than actual memories.

All was well and all were happy to be home.

Hours passed in laughter and joy before Thorin joined them. When he walked into the chambers, silence fell upon them. He had been their King before they reached Erebor, but now his regal posture aroused veneration amongst them.

"We are going to find the Arkenstone." His voice was sharp. Emotionless. "All of you are going to look for it. No one stops until it is found."

They soon leapt onto their feet, obliging to his will. But Fili and Kili exchanged worried glances for they felt the darkness in Thorin's voice again. He was walking on the balcony of stone above them, shouting orders with only the Arkenstone on his mind.

Kili sensed it again, a feeling of danger filling the air around him. He, the young and reckless one, could not happily dig through the gold now belonging to him for he had felt the darkness and the taste of it in his mouth would not perish for a long time.

Whatever would happen, their journey still did not come to an end. For there were shadows around them. And Kili knew, where shadows lingered, a greater darkness would follow.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading and for your reviews! =)

Sindarin and Khuzdul:

_Sevog i veleth nîn. Gerog i chûn nîn mi i chaim gîn. - You have my love. You hold my heart in your hands._

_Amrâlimê. - My love_.


	4. Chapter 4 - Separated

**_Chapter 4 - Separated_**

Kili was seated on top of a pile of gold, exhausted by the search for the Arkenstone. Hours upon hours of searching had gone by, but still there was no trace of the precious gem. Thorin's anger was becoming more evident by the minute, his eyes dark and frenzied, his pace quick and his glare murderous. Kili could not help but wonder if the possession of the stone would indeed make his uncle feel better.

His thigh ached for the wound was still fresh. Exhaustion was slowly taking over his body. Mere minutes passed before his brother came to sit next to him, their shoulders grazing. They were sitting in silence for a while before Fili spoke up.

"Your leg hurts."

Kili nodded wordlessly.

"You should rest."

The younger dwarf sighed. "Can't. Thorin wants us to find the Arkenstone." His eyes travelled to the balcony his uncle had walked over minutes before.

Silence stretched. They needed to talk, to voice their thoughts, but both seemed to hesitate. The younger brother did not raise his eyes towards his sibling, he rather stared at some invisible point before his eyes, deep in thoughts that were miles away.

He did not want to think of her constantly for the sorrow was too deep. Indeed, she was far away from him. She walked in starlight in another world. He promised he would fight for them, for _her,_ but...with her away, their dreams of future seemed to be only that. A dream.

But again, not a moment would pass without her lingering on his mind.

The older dwarf was staring at his own hands that were resting entwined in his lap. He spoke up, though reluctantly.

"Before all of this, you used to confide in me, Kili." He spoke silently, his voice unsure. One could see he was weighing his words with great care. "Before all of this, there would not be a thought on one of our minds without the other being aware of it."

"But I see a wall building around your heart, Khâzash. You are shutting me out and letting your thoughts overwhelm you." He sighed. "Confide in me, Kili. Let me share some of your burden."

Kili closed his eyes, his face otherwise emotionless. After taking a deep breath, he slowly exhaled. Talking about emotions has never been easy for him. For them. He was a trained warrior, a fighter. A son of Durin. Not a drunken elf singing perched on the top branch of a tree. _A drunken elf_... He chuckled softly, realizing how even after all he had been through, some of the old prejudices still lingered somewhere on the back of his mind.

He had no trouble nor shame when he spoke of his feelings to Tauriel. He had no fear. For his words made him feel alive then. She made him feel alive. But she was by his side no longer.

He opened his eyes and looked at his brother. After their uncle's coronation, Fili would become the Crown Prince of Erebor, the Heir of all Heirs, but now he was looking at him with sadness and worry in his eyes, being nothing more than an older brother concerned for the wellbeing of his younger reckless idiot of a sibling.

"You did not have to stay with me."

Fili's eyes widened, that not being the answer he had expected to hear. But he nodded, wordlessly, for he had sensed his brother had more to say, only the words were finding their path rather slowly and reluctantly.

Kili sighed sadly and continued. "You should have been here."

Fili shook his head. "No. I said it once, I'll say it again. I belong with my brother." There was no room for doubt or misunderstanding in his tone.

Kili did not seem to agree with his brother. "No, Fili. All my life I've known you as the one that would gladly take blame for my faults. I am not worthy of you, brother."

Fili began to disagree, but Kili stopped him. "No. I know mother did not want me to come. And I know Thorin had his doubts. It was you who convinced them that I truly was worthy of the quest."

"You still are." Fili said.

"Yes, I am." Kili accepted. "But you, my brother, you are the future King. Even though you have always been there with me, causing various kinds of trouble under the influence of weird pipe weeds..." they both chuckled, "you have always been the one I was looking up to..."

Fili opened his mouth, but could not utter a word for the sudden lump in his throat. He blinked a few times rapidly, trying to hide the sudden wetness in his eyes and brought an arm around his little brother's shoulders instead. He sighed and weighed his words once more.

"You did what was right, Kili. Your paths will cross in the future, but for now, you did what you had to do."

Kili placed his head in his hands. He drew in a deep breath. The grip on his shoulder tightened and Fili nodded approvingly.

"I've seen the way you look at her, brother." He said silently. "And I heard your words that night in Lake-town."

Kili's head shot up and he met his brother's gaze. His cheeks were slightly reddened. Fili laughed lightly.

"Next time you bestow upon a lass the finest of dwarven poetry, brother, be sure you are the only ones in the room."

The colour in Kili's cheeks became even more prominent, bringing an even bigger smile to his brother's lips.

"So, tell me. Tell me more of her." Fili demanded, a soft smile still lingering on his lips.

Kili smiled after a short while. His cheeks were still slightly coloured and his heart was still beating rather loudly. But his brother was by his side and it was all he needed at the moment.

He took a deep breath, wondering how to describe what was on his mind and, more important, in his heart. Fili obviously knew of his feelings. After all, he could never hide anything from his watchful eye. But even though they were not accustomed to pouring their hearts all over the place, Kili needed to tell him. He needed him to understand.

"It is as if the force that once was pulling me towards the earth is now pulling me towards her. Fili, I..." He closed his eyes, finding difficulties in describing his feelings with words. One could not simply state what was happening in one's heart. "I have always thought that the light of stars was cold, only a memory from far away. But now I look at the stars and see her." He sighed. "But her beauty is beyond stars, beyond any gem I have ever seen, beyond the beauty of mithril. And it feels like her soul is a part of me I did not even know I was missing."

Fili was lost for words. They were silent for a while until Kili continued. "But I want you to know that this is not something meaningless."

Fili looked at him, confusion evident in his eyes.

"I know you might think this is some kind of infatuation that will pass eventually, a... An adventure without future, but..." He was struggling with his words for he alone was not sure what he wanted to say. He just needed his brother to know that Tauriel was not something that would pass. He needed his brother to know that Tauriel became one with his heart, with his soul.

And, by Mahal, nothing short of a miracle was that the same feelings ruled her own heart.

"I love her, Fili. I truly do. With all my heart. With all my soul. By Mahal, I do not know if we will ever again find one another, but I will never love another woman for as long as I may live."

As he was saying the words, the pain he had felt since the parting of their ways did not subdue, but the weight on his shoulders seemed to lessen. The burden he was carrying alone indeed was not as heavy once his brother helped him with it. Some things would never change.

"I myself am amazed by the depth of my own feelings, brother."

Fili nodded.

"And I know you might not think it appropriate. I know Thorin would kill me if he knew..."

"Oh I think death would be the easier way out of _that_, dear brother." Finally finding his voice, Fili laughed. Kili joined him.

Fili was watching him closely for a couple of minutes before smiling again. "Durin's sacred Beard, this whole world is going crazy."

The brothers laughed together.

"I said no one rests until the Arkenstone is found!"

They jumped onto their feet, Thorin's words whipping them like a fiery whip of Durin's Bane itself.

Yet they remained standing, frozen in their places, and silently watched their uncle above them. His skin was pale and his eyes dark, now widening in wonder and anger. He looked absolutely furious.

"The Arkenstone! Now!" He yelled even louder and the echo of his words filled the vast halls of stone, like a curse from ancient times.

The brothers shared a look and turner around, falling onto their knees and digging throughout the piles of gold in search for the gem. Fili saw Balin wiping the wetness from his cheeks, realizing the older dwarf was crying. And then he understood.

The curse of their blood, the dragon sickness was taking over their uncle. Like his grandfather once before, Thorin was falling under the influence of gold around them. A gold upon which a serpent had lain for ages.

Fili could _feel_ the same fears roaming through his brother's already troubled mind. They shared a look that confirmed their fears.

Kili and Fili heard the tales, even though they were uttered in hushed voices. The dwarves worshipped the line of Durin, but the tales of King Thror's madness and obsession with gold and the Arkenstone have not been forgotten. It was said that once the dragon descended upon Erebor, the King cared not for his people first, but for the precious gem that he believed bestowed upon him the right to rule. The King's Jewel. The Heart of the Mountain.

Yet he had been a king before the discovery of the Arkenstone. Durin's sons had ruled the realms of the dwarves ages before the stone was found.

The brothers could not understand their uncle's obsession with the stone, but decided not to speak of it. At least not yet. They would find it and all would be well. Thorin would have all he needed to become a rightful King, even though he already was one.

And they would start focusing on the restoration of their Kingdom. Once again the great dwarven Kingdom under the Lonely Mountain would flourish. Once more, the rightful King would sit upon the throne of all dwarves.

They had lost so much, but it was worth it. For they were in the sacred Halls of their Fathers. They were home.

* * *

Tauriel was sitting behind Legolas, but her thoughts were miles away. Precisely, they were in the Halls of Erebor. With a certain young Prince.

Was she also on his mind, she could not help but wonder. Was he also feeling the distance between them growing like darkness of the night, like icy shadows claiming once illuminated land and turning it to nothing but dead stone...

How was it possible for one's life to change so thoroughly and drastically in just days? Just moments?

Not once in her six hundred years has she felt such desperation taking over her soul. Not even when her kin died, leaving her to the mercy of the cruel world around her.

The promise of future seemed as far away as the white shores of the Undying Lands. She could not let hope fill her heart while riding with another man away from her one. Legolas was taking them North, to Mount Gundabad. Once fearful place was allegedly restoring its dark powers, once again functioning under the unyielding will of an enemy long fallen... long forgotten.

_A Elbereth Gilthoniel..._

Would she live to see the darkness embowering the lands of Middle Earth, the shadows overtaking free minds of its people?

But darkness could not endure, it would not endure. There was always hope. There was always strength hidden before the naked eye, residing in the unlikeliest of creatures that indeed are capable of greater deeds than one would care to admit.

She closed her eyes, fully inhaling the cold air. It burned through her lungs, leaving behind a purging sensation. They were riding fast, the horse beneath them giving its best to aid them in their need.

Her fiery hair was sailing behind her like waves of live flames.

He loved her hair. She remembered his lips pressed against her braid, whispering how it reminded him of raw flames in the forges of Ered Luin, where he had spent a great deal of time before the quest. She shivered with the memory of his warm breath against the sensitive skin behind her ear.

Legolas shifted in front of her and it brought her to her senses. He was strangely silent, her friend. Not that he was very talkative otherwise, but something was troubling his mind and she knew better than to inquire. He would tell her when the time comes, when he felt comfortable, she knew it.

For once, she was not the reason. King Thranduil's words echoed in her mind. And still, she knew them to be true. Her friend did not see her as the Captain of the Guard any more. Not that she still was the Captain. But the point remained, his feelings grew deeper over the years of innocent friendship.

But still, he was her friend. Nothing more than a friend, but not less valuable for it. She would give her life for him. She would fight legions of orcs and wargs and Dol Guldur's spiders for him.

_But you left him. You betrayed him. And still, he protects you. He shields you from his father's rage._

She could not deal with her own guilt. It was easier to shove it aside and try to atone for her actions.

Would he trully understand? Would he truly understand what Kili meant to her? Could he even understand that overpowering feeling of belonging to another, that burning need and desire consuming her body and mind and... Would it even matter? For even if he understood, he would not approve.

Her thoughts shifted back to her dwarf. _Her dwarf_. He was not hers. He did not belong to her. She sighed. But then she remembered the look in his eyes, the look full of love and pure adoration, and she knew him to be hers in every way that mattered.

And she was his, oh she was his. He knew not of the depth and significance of her feelings towards him, but it did not matter, after all. Why trouble his mind with such a burden when it never should have been placed upon his shoulders? It was a burden of her own and she would carry it responsibly.

He was mortal. She was not. He would die, sooner or later. Either heroically in a battle or peacefully of old age. But he would die, there was no denying that. And she would follow.

Her future was lain in front of her like a story of another one's life. Like a song composed in the deepest of sorrows. He would die and her soul would grieve for him until she found no reason for life herself. She would slowly wither while consumed by the memories of unreachable happiness. It would proceed slowly. But eventually, years or even decades after, maybe even centuries, she would fade into nothingness, into death, only if Valar would kindly cease her pain. And even in death, even in the beauty of Undying Lands, she would be separated from him. For his soul would rest in the Halls of Mahal in the heroic company of his Forebears.

They would be separated until the end of time, until the very end of Arda.

But... Suddenly a brighter sight appeared before her eyes. She could see it just for a second before it flashed away, but still it was there. Her Kili, strong and masculine, but also so full of live and mischief, stood before her eyes with a wide grin, invading her soul. And in his arms was a... a little boy... with his dark curls and warm eyes, but also with unmistakable pointy ears... She shook her head, as if trying to scare away the memory of the sudden image appearing in her mind because it was... She swallowed hard for the lump in her throat, bringing tears to her eyes.

But she would find her strength and endure.

It was not the end.

_"I will not let it be just a dream." He whispered softly. "I will not let this go without a fight. It is not in my blood, Tauriel."_

His promise warmed her entire being. He would fight for them and so would she.

But somehow... Somehow she knew that bright picture of a happy future, of... of family... Somehow she knew she would not have it.

She felt as if a part of her own mind was secretly preparing her for a blow. For defeat.

How simple all was when he was a prisoner and she a Captain of the Guard. A frown appeared between her eyebrows and she had to stop herself from laughing loudly at her own stupidity. Simple? Oh, it was not simple.

It was precious. Pure. Wonderful.

Warm. Gentle.

Blinding.

Deafening.

Oh, it was anything _but_ simple.

Firemoon and starlight, they were. Earth and air. Stone and forest.

But despite their differences, they were one.

An image of pure happiness once again appeared before her eyes and she did not stop the tears from flowing freely over her cheeks. Legolas, still deep in his own troubled mind, rode oblivious in front of her. She did not make a noise, just soundlessly cried. For what, she did not know.

For the future with him they both would fiercely fight for, but... but they would never have it.

Some of the Sindar were blessed with the gift of fore-sight. Tauriel was not one of them and she did not possess that kind of magic in her blood. Yet, she felt it.

An unseen doom before her. A deep shadow looming over her head.

Over their heads.

For as clearly as she could feel it, she knew in her heart that she was not alone. For she was certain Kili could feel it too.

Heavy clouds were clearing above the Lonely Mountain, revealing the precious light of shiny stars. Her swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks welcomed the soothing ethereal light.

_"I wish I could have shown you." Their eyes met and she couldn't help but wish for it too._

There was no firemoon in the skies above her, only the bright light of memories forever preserved. She wished she could show it to him.

_Hae ephadron_  
_theri thaur_  
_am na dhû_  
_ias fîr i ambar_  
_A trehil i 'alad 'lân uir tri 'wilith_

As she sang under breath of walking in starlight beyond this world, she could hear his silent plea in her mind. She could see his warm eyes full of love.

_Take me with you._

_..._

* * *

_AN: Thank you all for reading! Thanks for the reviews, please take some time and write a bit more =)_

Khâzash (Khuzdul) = brother

_As you can see, I played a bit with the lyrics__ of "The Feast of Starlight"._

Hae ephadron  
theri thaur  
am na dhû  
ias fîr i ambar  
A trehil i 'alad 'lân uir tri 'wilith (Sindarin)

"I go walking  
Beyond the forest  
Where the world falls away  
And the white light  
Of forever fills the air"

_And the_ "Take me with you" _part refers to_ "Imri zaiza" (Khuzdul), _also a part of the song_.


	5. Chapter 5 - Thoughts

_**Chapter 5 - Thoughts**_

The cold halls that once were full of life now rested in silence like a tomb. Darkness and dust spread throughout the stone walls and floors, candle light dancing over them like tiny sparks of life in the place that alive was no more.

Kili could feel the cold shadows around him, luring him in, calling his name. He had seen the realms of shadows and darkness. He had seen what lies beyond the world of the living. And he would never forget.

He finally reached the great Gate of Erebor, silently tapping over the broken stones. The moon was rising over the Lonely Mountain, it was only the second night of his arrival that was now falling over the lands. Yet the darkness constantly surrounding him felt like a burden of hundreds of years on his shoulders. But he would rather face the deadly silence of darkness than the sickening allure of the glittering gold.

Gold. Gold everywhere.

He had not seen so much gold anywhere before. It was beyond measure. It was beyond comprehending. Beyond understanding.

And it was making him sick.

It was making him sick because somehow he wanted it and hated it at the same time. His heart long desired the treasures of the great Kingdom of Erebor. It was their birthright. Their home. The land and great Kingdom of his Forebears, of the kings and rulers whose blood ran through his own veins.

But seeing it... He still could not comprehend how much gold really was there. There was enough to drown the dragon thousands of times more.

The dragon... People of Lake town lost everything. Many fell and many more were homeless. Defenceless. They needed food and shelter for the winter was upon them. The cold winter was coming.

The cold air was already freezing his bones.

He drew a deep breath, welcoming the burning it left in his lungs. Where was she? Was she safe? Was she thinking about him?

He made a few steps towards the stones near the entrance and sat down. He was exhausted yet the sleep would not come to him. Even if it did come, it would be filled with her fiery hair and emerald eyes.

The memory of her, of her angelic face and divine voice that used to fill his soul with happiness now seemed to bring him both joy and despair. Never would he regret his love for her. Never would he regret whatever destiny brought upon them as long as she was by his side.

But again, mere thoughts of future filled with waves of fiery hair and milky skin, eyes more green than any emerald ever mined and voice more sweet than the very song of Ainur, mere thoughts of future with her sent a sort of icy pain through his chest.

A sense of doom, a dread would suddenly fill him, engulfing his mind and leading him into darkness.

Kili has always been reckless. He has always been silly and light hearted, for the long years of life were ahead of him and too few winters had passed by him.

But the past year has aged him more than living through three lives of men. He sensed danger approaching them. He sensed doom and peril at their doorstep.

Why would none other open their eyes and just see? Why would none tear their eyes away from the treasures before them and just see the danger approaching them, forcing them further into deep caverns of Erebor, into darkness and their own deaths?

Maybe he still was young, maybe he was inexperienced. He was an inexperienced warrior compared to heroes like Thorin and Dwalin. He was a stupid fool compared to Balin, the very embodiment of education and knowledge. He was a young heir to a great Kingdom, a great land he had not even seen before.

The burden of his blood finally hit him full force. He was a Prince. He was a Prince of this Kingdom. Once Thorin was crowned King, his brother would become the Crown Prince, a direct heir. And one day, Kili would sit by his brother's side when Fili would be crowned King.

Such a heavy burden. Such an enormous responsibility for two lads grown up in the West, cleaning their own rooms and making their own beds.

They were not raised as royal Princes of a great Kingdom. Kili did not know if he was worthy at all.

His brother, on the other hand, has always been noble. Regal, in a way. Even when involved in all sorts of mischief, Fili was above all else in posture and authority. The Durin's blood running through his veins made him a natural leader. A King. A true son of Durin.

Suddenly filled with immense pride, Kili smiled to himself. Yes, Fili would make a fine King. He would be fair and noble. He would personally see to every justice being done. He would... he would be so different than Thorin was now...

Yes, their uncle was slowly succumbing to the dragon sickness. Kili could see it. The sickening glimmer in his eyes, the... the _love_ that he felt for that trice-blasted gold...

He could feel it too. And he knew Fili could also.

When everything would remain silent and calm, he would feel the pull. The call. The need to see the gold, to be surrounded by it. To drown in it. It was making him sick, forcing him to stay as far away from the halls filled with treasure as possible.

He could fight it, he could cast it aside, for the piles of gold meant nothing more to him than simple means to an end. Gold was there to be spent. To secure prosperity and stability. To rebuild Erebor and feed its people.

He could never look at the gold piles with eyes full of love and lust. He could never see the gold the same way Thorin saw it.

They would have to fight it. Together. Fili and Kili, Thorin's sister-sons, would help him. They would save their uncle from doom. From madness. And it would be a great battle, for their uncle was already placing the gold above all else.

Kili has never met his father. He was killed by orcs before his birth. He had no memory of him. Thorin was the only father he has ever known. He thought him how to fight. He thought him how to be a proper dwarf of his stature. He owed him everything. And he would give his last to help him come back. To help the noble, worthy King come back from the darkness he had fallen into.

Kili closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

Interesting it was, the cold air no longer brought him pain. His body had accustomed to it. He was a dwarf, and dwarven blood ran hot. For they came from the earth, from the fire and warmth that shaped the stone of mountains from below. So Mahal's own children carved from the mountains would have powers to work metal and stone like none else. Kili could remember the fires of the forges back in Ered Luin. He could remember the metal bending to his will.

Back then, he would say his life was satisfying. He only lacked adventure, a chance to prove himself. A chance for honour and glory.

But now... now he knew better.

One's life could not be satisfying without love. And Kili thought he had known love... until she came and shook the stone under his feet.

How could he live like that? How could everything go back to normality when he had learned there was more to live for?

How can a person return to what once was when everything has changed?

Wherever he looked, he saw her. The stars, the moon... Their light, once cold but now precious and pure, reminded him of her. How happy they had been, though the time of happiness was brief.

Her gleaming eyes in Thranduil's cells while she was speaking of her dreams... He closed his eyes and saw her before him, like she once really was. Her features were carved into his memory like ancient runes.

"I have always wanted to travel. To see the world beyond borders of the Woodland realm." She spoke dreamily.

"And why haven't you, my lady?" His voice came out breathier than it was proper, for he was pulled into a dreamy state himself.

"It is not allowed, I fear." A hint of sadness appeared in those green gems Kili was sure were the prettiest of all the emeralds dwarven people had ever set their eyes on.

"The world beyond the forest is scary, but... but it is beautiful." He did not take his eyes away from hers. She was listening to him intently, carving each of his words into her memory and holding onto them like onto life itself. He could not feel but sorry for the elven beauty sitting before him, for she had been confined within her own home, safe and secure, but robbed of the opportunity of freedom.

"Speak to me of the fire-moon again, Kili." She said dreamily.

His name on her lips seemed to ignite a fire in his blood. He could not move his eyes away from her.

"It was red and gold. And it filled the sky. I remember looking upon it and thinking of something beyond myself, beyond my existence. We dwarves are a people of the earth. We live in the ground, digging even deeper into it, but I... I have always been raising my eyes up, up towards the sky." He sighed. Tauriel came closer and was sitting pressed against the bars, her fingers playing with a strand of her hair.

"I have always been looking up, towards the sky and into the cold, distant light of stars. So different, they were. So different from the warm fire of the moon that would cast a light over the lands even in the dead of night. They were so remote, so cold and unreachable..." He met her gaze again, feeling the fire in his veins engulfing his mind, consuming him completely. He must have gone crazy. Mahal has forsaken him. He slowly reached for her delicate hand on the other side of the bars, gently surrounding her soft skin with the roughness of his.

She stopped breathing, all the time looking at him with wide eyes, but she did not move away. She did not even flinch. A joyous feeling of victory that could be compared to the very battles of old spread through him when he felt her moving even closer.

"But now... Now, Tauriel, I will raise my eyes towards the sky and meet the light of the stars with joy. For now I know they are a memory. A precious song travelling through space and time only waiting to be heard."

She blinked in wonder and a smile appeared on her lips. She did not move away.

"I wish you could show me the moon, Kili. I wish you could show me what lies beyond the forest." She sighed, but not sadly. "You are so young, I have lived almost ten times your life. And you have seen more of this world than I have ever dared to hope for myself."

"I will show you. I will." He spoke. He brought their entwined hands closer and covered her skin with his other hand. She was so delicate, so soft and fair, but again so strong, stronger than mithril, fiercer than the dragons. He smiled.

"I will show you the beauty of the Blue Mountains in the winter. The snow upon them glows blue from the distance, making it seem ethereal." He spoke dreamily, looking into the distance, exaggerating his words by movements of their joined hands. "Away from them, further on the West, lies the sea, the gray waters reaching as far as your eyes can see, without an end. Then I believe you should see the Shire. Small place, it is. But full of green grass, flowers and light forests." He sighed. "You should see Rivendell..."

"You have been to Imladris?" She gasped.

"Yes. On our way here, we passed through the House of Lord Elrond." He smiled. "I do not think they would be happy to see more than a few dwarves at a time after our visit." He chuckled.

Tauriel's inquiring look made him chuckle even more and tell her of their stay in Rivendell. At the end of the story, she was staring wide-eyed at him, barely containing her laughter.

"Then I believe you should see the Misty Mountains." His brows furrowed. "Not the goblins within the mountains though. That I do not recommend. But the mountains are beautiful... We used to look towards them from places far away, singing songs of our long forgotten home..."

Their hushed whispers echoed in the silence deep into the night. They remained in the same position, hand in hand, the entire time.

Tauriel would later remember how she had never felt so at ease, so relaxed.

Kili would later remember how much he desired to kiss her, to hold her and protect her from everything.

They would later remember that night as a beginning of something new. Of something barely possible, but entirely consuming.

After that night, they did not even have a choice. For wherever their bodies would lead them, their souls would wish nothing more but to be besides one another.

Days had they spent in elven cells, and day after day would Tauriel visit him. Their conversations were brief, except for the two nights. Those two nights. On one night they spoke of the moon and stars and past and future. On the other, they spoke of their future. Of their moon and stars. Of the world before them, waiting for _them_.

Still sitting on what once was a part of the great Gate of Erebor, Kili inhaled deeply.

Was she looking at the same moon? Was she admiring the beauty of the cloudless sky?

Was she safe?

He wished to be with her. He wished to fulfil his promise of showing her the world. He wished to fulfil his promise of returning back to her.

He wanted to be brave and strong not only for her, but for his brother and uncle that needed him now more than ever. But the weight on his shouders was slowly crushing him. He wanted to laugh and cry, all at the same time. _Mahal, have mercy._

He needed to pull himself together. He needed to bury his heart under layers of stone and act as a proper brother and nephew would.

But again, a dread, an unnamed feeling of a pending doom reached deep into his soul and crushed his hopes.

Was it really hopeless?

What if there really was danger ahead of them? What if they soon would be faced with their mortality?

Was it really worth letting her into his heart, into his very existence, and letting her rule his soul?

_Yes._

He smiled. Yes, it was. Never would he regret.

His heart may be broken, but he would mend it.

He would be strong for her, for them.

He would rebuild his Kingdom alongside his uncle and his brother. He would see the ravens return to the Lonely Mountain. He would see his friends, his kin return to their long lost home. He would make himself responsible for the happiness of each and every one of them.

He would see his mother embracing his brother. She would pull on his hair, as she usually did when frightened, and she would crush his bones with her motherly love. He would see his brother happy, he would see that twinkle of youth in his eyes that was now long buried under responsibilities and worry.

He would see his family reunited and happy.

Only then, only when his own kin, his own blood was satisfied, only then would he reach out for her. Only then would he mend his own bleeding heart.

Kili eyed the moon, wishing it was a fire-moon from Dunland. Aye, it sounded like a good plan.

* * *

_AN: Hi! Thanks for reading! I hope you like this chapter. Actually, I hope you don't hate cause nothing's really happening. I just wanted to have a look into Kili's thoughts. I assume he was slowly being crushed under tons and tons of responsibilities and worries. I mean, seeing your uncle suffer from dragon sickness surely wasn't a sight one wishes to see. Also, as I made his and Tauriel's feelings a bit deeper and their story a bit more elaborate (a bit), I suppose it would also leave a bigger impact on him and his behaviour in general. I guess he would be sad but also feel guilty for not concentrating solely on the matters at hand in Erebor. All very confusing, I guess._

_I guess I wrote this chapter mainly because he needed to find his courage, his strength to endure all that was before him._

_I hope you like it. I'm looking forward to your reviews. I've some obligations concerning uni, but I'll update as soon as possible. Even sooner if you review more! _

_Once again, thanks for reading!_


	6. Chapter 6 - Shadows in the South

**_Chapter 6 - Shadows in the South_**

The sun that arose brought light to the desolated lands, but no warmth to the walls of stone that built Erebor. The air was stale, sickening, full of dust. Kill was walking through the magnificent halls built by his ancestors, the breathtaking carved stone was arching above him, reaching the oblivious heights that dwelled in darkness.

None other could work stone like dwarven masters. The fathers of his fathers long time ago whispered to the core of the Mountain and transformed it into a wonderful Kingdom worthy of Durin's folk. It was a city worthy of Mahal's children. Such beauty could not be seen in many places in Arda.

But now, after ages of being a dragon's layer, after years of nothing but death and silence occupying its vast chambers, now it was a city of the dead, waiting still to be rebuilt and brought to life.

Sleep has eluded him for the whole night. Upon the rise of the sun he started feeling better, as if the rays of light ignited a spark inside of him. For a moment he felt like his old self, like young Kili from Ered Luin. He wished to explore Erebor, his new but somehow old home. He wished to touch the stone, feel it beneath his fingers. It was curious how easily he accustomed to the foreign stone of the Lonely Mountain, as if he had lived there his whole life. The Mountain was whispering to him, welcoming him home.

Approaching the Throne chamber, he wanted to imagine his future as the Prince of Erebor, standing beside the throne of his uncle and his brother. He could imagine the crowds of dwarves returning to the ruins, their happiness for reclaiming their lost home somehow bringing life to the dead city. He could see it. He could almost hear the many footsteps and cheerful songs of his kinsmen, praising the glory of the Kingdom under the Mountain with astonishment, and those old enough, with memories of glorious times of the past.

He could imagine his mother's smile. Tears would well in her eyes and she would fight them with all she has got for Dis, daughter of Thrain, Princess of Durin's folk, appears weak before no one. But tears would eventually slide down her cheeks because she would remember all that was taken from her and her kin. And she would remember all those that should have been by her side, but were lost to death before their time.

Kili wondered how could one feel both happy and unworthy at the same time. How could he feel both honoured and cursed? Long hours have passed since his decisions, yet he could still feel a heavy weight crushing him towards the ground.

With a passing of one breath's time, old Kili disappeared and his place occupied a new person. A person that ventured on a quest unprepared, with dreams of glory and honour in his heart. A skilful fighter, the best archer of the Blue Mountains, the sister-son to the great, brave Thorin Oakenshield, but barely more than a child himself. Oh, how a period of mere months could age a person. Shake them out of the stupor of their dreams and towards sobriety. With no more than seventy seven winters behind him, he felt as old as Arda itself.

He entered the great Hall of Throne. And so majestic it was! If one looked into the darkness above, one would assume there was no end to it. One would think the very ceiling somehow melted with the air, forming an end that really was not there. And in the centre, a vein of gold stretched from depths of the earth to beyond his sight. And there was the throne of Durin's folk. There was the throne his uncle and brother would sit upon.

He had to look away for the future before him was both joyful and unimaginably unattainable. The dread still filled his being, twisting his insides in anticipation of a greater evil. He could not help but wonder if the evil he dreaded so was his uncle. If the evil that was lingering in the shadows was his own uncle's poisoned mind.

Somehow he could feel the presence before it betrayed itself by making a sound. The sound of Thorin's heavy boots disturbed the silence, sending shivers down Kili's spine. Thorin was slowly approaching him, his footsteps loud and heavy in the dead of darkness broken only by a few rays of light. The air was vibrating with anticipation.

Facing the inevitable, Kili slowly turned around and faced the dwarf he once knew and loved as his uncle. The dwarf he still loved as an uncle, but knew him he did not. Only what his eyes met was a man tortured, burdened beyond his abilities to withstand. His royal armour, golden crown and regal furs seemed to be crushing him towards the ground. But his eyes... His eyes were dark. Dark with lust for gold and power. Misty as the air above the Misty Mountains. Clouded by madness slowly overtaking him. Kill could feel each of those silent observations like a fresh stab to the heart.

"Why would you abandon your kin and linger in the shadows instead?" Even his voice was darker, as if he was speaking from the depths of a well. His words echoed through the chamber, making him look like a ghost, like a disembodied spirit of one of the great kings of Durin's folk that somehow managed to find its way back from the afterlife.

"Sleep eluded me, for I have long desired to see the Halls of our Fathers and I still cannot believe I really reached them." Kili answered.

Thorin's eyes softened, showing a bit of affection for his sister-son for an unguarded moment. "Your wound... Has it healed?" He asked silently with worry in his voice.

Kili simply nodded, afraid to disturb the moment in which he saw his uncle as he was before. An uncle of a reckless dwarf. Thorin stood in silence, wordlessly battling something inside of himself, a sight Kili wished to see never again.

"Good." Thorin swallowed before continuing. "I...I have never thanked you for what you did with that lever. It was an act of true bravery. Your deeds will not be soon forgotten." Kili met his eyes and nodded with a small smile on his lips, for the shadows consuming his uncle's mind were no longer darkening his eyes.

They were standing in silence for a moment before Thorin spoke up again. "Long will our kin sing songs and tell tales of Fili and Kili, the Lion and Wolf of Durin's folk. Long will your names and deeds be told to the young Durin's sons. You are my kin. My best warriors and my sister-sons. My heirs. Do not forget that in the times that will come. Now go. Rest. Regain your strength." He ended silently, but with affection in his eyes and smile on his lips.

Kili smiled widely and nodded, not trusting his voice, for he could feel the tears welling in his eyes, already threatening to wet his cheeks. He was still there. His uncle was still there. Even enveloped in layers of shadows, he could still be reached. There was hope.

As he walked pass Thorin, he placed his hand on his uncle's shoulder and smiled.

When he stepped off the bridge leading to the throne, an echo of his uncle's voice reached him. "Do not think I'm not telling Dis about that lever incident. We will see if you will be running towards certain death after that!"

Kili could not help but chuckle, even if he knew he would rather take a dozen of Morgul shafts than face his mother's wrath.

* * *

With the first light of a new day, they stopped to rest, more because their horse needed sleep than they did. After dismounting the poor, brave animal, Tauriel approached him and whispered into his ear. "Hannon le, mellon." The horse made a satisfied noise and laid to rest.

The spot they chose was relatively secure, one of the old meeting places of the guards of the northern Greenwood, now the very edge of the Woodland Realm. Legolas still checked the perimeter. After dismissing the idea of an imminent threat, he ungracefully slumped to the ground and silently began inspecting his arrows and mending the slightly damaged ones.

Tauriel wordlessly sat on the mossy ground and rested her body against a tree. It was wonderful. Even with shadows slowly but surely taking over the forest, she could still see the beauty and glory of Greenwood as it had been. Trees grew tall, their branches intertwining just above the height of an elf, making it look like a tunnel through eternity. The sun rays were battling the thick, green branches, some of them winning and placing their shine onto the crystal water of a nearby spring.

She closed her eyes and felt the time stopping. These trees were old, some even older than herself and she still felt young, younger than ever before. So old, but yet so young, fresh and inexperienced. With no more than six hundred winters behind her, she felt as a child. A child wanting no more than to feel secure and loved. And at the same time, so wasted and old.

Could it even be? Ever since her parents and her kin died, she has been taking care of her own and others' security. She paced the Woodland borders, fighting off every threat that wanted to disturb peaceful lives of her people. But what lied beyond those borders, she has never seen. And her heart desired to travel, to learn, to know.

_Here in this kingdom we will endure._

Thranduil's words echoed in her mind, and for the first time she realized how very true they were. They were immortal, blessed by the grace of Valar. As the forest itself, they would intertwine their branches and protect their own, but no more. They would not venture into the world of mortals and share their perils. Ever since the great battles of forgotten ages, elves have been keeping to themselves. Tending to their own. And that was exactly what her King wished to do in the future.

She realized that she could never agree with that. Even if she did not meet the black haired archer, the dwarf who brought her back to life she did not know she was eluding, she still would not agree to isolation and ignorance.

But she has met the dwarven Prince and there was no King, no border, no army that would stop her now.

Ever since she met him and gave him her heart, she has been wondering if the grace of the Valar was indeed a blessing. She has lived through sixty lives of men and still felt half sleep. Like she still was not awoken.

Maybe mortality was a gift beyond any other blessing. Maybe Ilúvatar truly blessed the men giving them no more than a few decades of life, even less than a century. For if they knew their time was limited, they would surely use it the best way they could. They would not elude love or friendship. They would live lives worthy of living.

And she... Never has she felt more alive, never in her six hundred years, than from a moment she gave her heart to a mortal dwarf.

Was it a blessing or a curse? Would she live only to see him die, thus destroying herself?

Whatever fate brought upon her, she would welcome it gladly.

For she would rather share one mortal life with him than face all the ages before her alone.

She opened her eyes and met her friend's half-amused smirk that told her she had been daydreaming longer than she thought. She jumped onto her feet, suddenly losing her balance and grasping for the tree behind her. That made Legolas laugh out loud.

"Mellon, rest. You will not help anyone if you fall off a horse."

She tried to smile at his joke, but on her face formed only a grimace that made Legolas laugh even more. His voice echoed through the small portion of forest around them, melting into the magic in the air.

She silently obeyed and wrapped her cloak tighter around her body, rich moss of the forest serving as her pillow. She did not feel cold, but she needed to wrap her arms around her to remind herself of the heat radiating from his body, like pure energy giving life to all around him.

Sleep still eluded her, but she let her muscles relax. She would need her stamina and agility in the days that would come. A sense of anticipation filled her. She knew her King offered help to the dwarven leader, only wanting something in return. What, she did not know, but assumed it was hidden somewhere in the Mountain. Would Thranduil now, when the Mountain was reclaimed and the dragon slain, would he venture to claim what allegedly was his?

Her heart dreaded the very possibility of a war with the dwarves. The thought of facing Kili and his kin on the battlefield was overwhelming.

She would not think of it. She would lay still and relax her exhausted body. Her thoughts returned to Kili. To his dark eyes and deep voice, whispering promises of love and future that seemed so far away...

After a while of bittersweet daydreaming and resting, the voice of Legolas reached her.

"The dwarf... You grew very fond of him." His voice was even, restrained. She could sense a hint of both hurt and curiosity in his question and she knew better than to answer without thinking first.

She carefully weighed her words, for they could hurt his feelings. But she also needed to lessen the burden she was solely carrying. It was crushing her, dragging her body downwards.

She remembered her King's words once more. _Do not give him hope where there is none. _Thranduil's words were true but not in a way he meant them. She was no more than a lowly Silvan elf, certainly not a match for the Prince of the Woodland Realm, but there was no hope for her and Legolas because her heart belonged to another. And she could never have more with him than the purest of friendships.

It was time she told her friend the truth. The whole of it. She had to think of the both of them. Even if it meant hurting him.

"I love him, mellon."

Her words echoed in silence of the forest like screams. Nothing moved, as if frozen in the eternity.

Legolas did not meet her eyes, he kept looking into his hands entwined in his lap for a long time. He slowly raised his head after a few long, silent moments and met her eyes. An array of emotions danced in his gaze, yet he seemed calm.

"You cannot mean that, Tauriel." He silently assured her.

She smiled and shook her head. "Mellon, I know you do not understand, but I do. I do love him."

He removed his eyes from hers, afraid his gaze would reveal too much of what should have remained hidden from her. He slowly shook his head.

"No, I do not understand. You met him only days ago." Unspoken were his thoughts of their years, centuries of friendship. Unspoken was his question... _why do you not love me?_ Yet the words, even though unspoken, echoed throughout her mind.

She smiled with understanding in her eyes and no small dose of affection for her friend.

"Since I met him, layers of shadowy veils have been rising from before my eyes, one by one. I have never felt more alive, mellon. I..." She sighed, smiling involuntarily. She did not think speaking of her feelings would bring her such relief, happiness. "I can finally see clearly the world as it is. My dreams, wishes and fears... I can finally place them before me and see that all is possible. The grace that was given to me has been clouding my mind for so long... I believed the long years of life before me would provide a chance of satisfying my dreams..."

A moment of silence between her thoughts was not as uncomfortable as before, for she could feel Legolas listening to her, trying to understand.

"I feel like he somehow held a part of me in him, and ever since we met, I have been complete again. Like I did not know a part of myself was missing." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I love him, mellon. My feelings are true and pure."

Silence stretched between them again. Legolas slowly raised his eyes towards her and silently watched her for minutes. When he obviously decided she meant every word she had said, he nodded.

"What about the dwarf?" The question surprised her. "They are greedy and wish no more than gold. Was he only using your affections for him? Will he not cast you away now when he is the Prince of those piles of gold?"

Her eyes widened in shock and she could not find the strength to shake her head. She gasped instead. "You cannot mean that..."

Legolas was only watching her in silence, without a response, clearly waiting for an answer.

Somehow she found the strength to compose herself and took a deep breath. He wished no harm to her, he only wanted to know what Kili's intentions were. When she realized that, she managed to cast away the hurt and form coherent thoughts.

"No, Legolas. He loves me. I know he does." The weight of the runestone in her breast-pocket increased. She fell silent and took it out. The dark colour of the stone was deepened even more by the magical light of the forest. The runes appeared as a natural part of the stone, as if they were carved by nature itself.

She offered the stone to Legolas and he accepted it curiously. His fingers traced the outlines of the runes before his eyes raised to meet hers.

"What does it say?"

Tauriel smiled. "Innikhdê"

His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "You... How?"

Tauriel smiled gently. "He taught me the pronunciation."

That brought even more shock to her friend. "He thought you Khuzdul? The secret dwarven language?"

She laughed. "Only the rune, Legolas."

He rolled his eyes, still filled with great dose of confusion and amazement. "Still, Tauriel. It is forbidden. They teach their language to no one. They do not even speak it in front of those who are not of their kind."

She knew it, Kili told her, but still, those words brought warmth to her heart because it was the final proof their love was real. She did not need a proof, her heart knew what they had was real, but still...

Legolas asked again. "So... what does it mean?"

"Return to me."

Silence fell upon them. Tauriel was once again realizing how much weight that stone held. A simple runestone carved into a token of promise. Of future. Of dreams...

Legolas was wordlessly staring at the runestone, weighing himself the promise it held. He nodded, returning it to her. He swallowed before smiling.

"So... After all of this is behind us, I should assume you will be summoned to Erebor?"

Smile from Tauriel's face disappeared and gave place to a frown. She turned her head away, concerns taking over her.

"I do not know, Legolas... I can't..." Her voice was suddenly shaking, for a lump appeared in her throat, making her unable to speak without letting out a cry.

Legolas seemed to understand where her concerns lied. "You worry his kin would not approve of you."

She nodded. Her gaze still wandered through the depths of the forest, all the beauty of it suddenly disappearing before her eyes. She could see it as it was – a place cold, frozen in time. All the beauty and glory could not stop the shadows from coming. From overtaking the once place full of life and turning it into darkness and dread.

Suddenly she wished nothing more than to place as much distance between those trees and herself as possible.

Legolas took in her distress, slowly getting onto his feet and reaching for her hand. When she stood up, she met his gaze.

"You will pass that barrier when you reach it, mellon. Come now. We have urgent matters at hand."

They mounted their now fully rested horse and sped off towards the north. When they reached the clearing, Legolas turned them facing the south and gazed into the distance.

"Something is moving in the south. A shadow is spreading towards the Mountain. Come. I fear there is a greater danger before us than we thought."

* * *

AN_: Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! _

_I wanted to show the relationship between Kili and Thorin. In the film, we could only see Bilbo reaching him. But that was much later and I somehow want to believe Thorin was still "there" in the beginning, before the elves and men arrived. If anyone could reach him, it were surely his nephews. Also, he left Kili in Esgaroth and I think it was right to show some concern on his behalf._

_Also the whole Tauriel/Legolas thingy... He obviously suspected there was more to it even before, when she disobeyed Thranduil and went to the Lake-town, but I wanted to have that talk between them as a base for his later confession about his mother in Gundabad. And I believe she would confide eventually in her friend, and Legolas, though reluctantly at first, would understand._

_Thanks again, and please, share your thoughts!_


	7. Chapter 7 - The Barrier

**_Chapter 7 - The Barrier_**

After a sleepless night, Kili's body felt numb and sore, yet his mind would still not let him rest. His brother has not yet risen and Kili spent the remainder of the morning lying in the room they claimed as their own. It had once belonged to their mother. Even after two centuries of her absence, Kili still found comfort in her never fading presence.

Fili was loudly snoring on the great bed next to him and Kili wished no more than to rest in peace and quiet, undisturbed. When was it, he mused, that he began to prefer loneliness instead of his brother's company? They have shared a room for his entire life. Being without Fili was unimaginable, unthinkable. Missing his person felt like missing a part of his own body.

Remembering their childhood and most of their lives, he knew he would always find comfort and strength in his brother. Looking at his sleeping form, he remembered how it was always Fili by his side, in good and evil. He was the one Kili took his first tentative steps towards, his name was the first coherent word uttered from his lips. His brother was there when Thorin and Dwalin started training him. He tended to his little cuts and bruises when he would so often get hurt.

He was right by his side when he first felt the smooth wood of a bow in his hand and delicate feathers of an arrow between his fingers.

There was no force in the whole of Arda that would separate them, not even death, for Kili would die protecting his brother with shield and body if needed. If his brother died before him, he would not have a reason to live.

Such deep and heavy thoughts felt as a new weight added to the already overwhelming burden on his shoulders. He did not wish to think anymore. Of his brother, of his uncle... of anything.

All has changed. The journey they took changed them. How much, they yet had to see.

And he felt old. Mahal, he felt _old._

His leg bothered him. More and more with each passing hour. He needed rest desperately, but every time he managed to close his eyes for a while, he would meet her emerald eyes. It was a sight he was not strong enough to see. He could not lose himself to sleep, for it would mean losing himself in her embrace and the taste of her lips.

She haunted his mind nevertheless, whether he was asleep or not. Every now and then, and more often now than then, she would venture into his mind uninvited. He swore he could taste her lips on his own, the silk of her hair beneath his fingers... the softness of her skin under his touch...

How uninvited she was in his thoughts, and yet, how desperately wanted and needed.

He remembered the tales of his youth, the tales his mother would tell by the fire with eyes misty from unshed tears_. One day, Kili, you will meet a fine lass and the earth beneath your feet will shake._ His mother spoke. _There will be no mine nor forge, no gem nor gold you would value over her. For that, my son, will mean that you found your one, the one you were meant to be with._ _The one you were meant to share all that is good and bad in this world._

She would usually stop right after those words, not being able to continue without shedding those well controlled tears. But Kili has always known the love she felt for his father was as fresh as on the very first day. And the pain his death brought her has not yet faded nor ever will.

As a boy, he could not understand. Hollowness in his soul for not knowing his father ached from time to time, but was bearable. He missed the memories that still lingered in Fili's mind, a fact that would sometimes ignite a flicker of jealousy inside of him... But he felt sorry for his mother even if he did not understand how love could hurt.

Now, he knew. For he has felt the love in all its power and nothing ever would shine brighter than its light.

Dwarves married only once in their lifetime. Finding their one and being separated from them was a faith worse than death, described by some. But now, Kili could understand. Only hope in future shared with Tauriel was giving him the strength to go on, to face whatever lied before him. Even from afar, she gave him courage and something more, something he could not describe with words. As if she was giving him life itself.

What Kili did not know, however, was that their love truly was giving them life, both of them. For they were people of other races, but oh, so similar. Two races separated by ages of hatred, but more similar in their ways than either would ever care to admit. Neither a dwarf nor an elf could live without their one. The two of them in particular, for the bond of love formed between them was so special and unique, it strength could conquer any ill faith, only if they faced it together.

They were in the royal chambers, and Mahal, royal they were. Their mother's room was huge, carved in stone with delicacy and care only dwarven masters possessed. Time could not harm the beauty of the intricate details that seemed so ethereal, so natural, as if they were born with the stone of the Mountain itself.

Again he thanked Mahal for the gifts he gave his people, for it seemed no mortal hand could carve the flowery details embedded with gems and gold without divine assistance.

But the most breathtaking, beautiful sight was that before his eyes. A large window was carved in the stone itself, leading outside the mountain and letting the cold rays of light inside. It was not common for his people to carve windows in stone, yet the royal chambers all had them.

And through it, he could see the sun rising over Lake - town and the great woods further in the distance. The water of the lake was glittering like diamonds and shine fell upon the darkness of the forest, breaking, if only for a moment, that ill magic that was eating its beauty like a disease.

He could also see dark forms ahead, approaching from the distance slowly but determinedly. People from Lake-town, he realized. A smile formed on his face, for the thought of the ruined city of Dale prosperous once again, side by side with the great Kingdom of Erebor, brought him joy. They owed them their help and surely, they would repay their debt by offering a hand in need.

With all the gold in Erebor, he knew they could rebuild Dale a thousand times over, and still there would be more than enough for all of them. There would be more than enough to rebuild Lake-town as well.

He woke a somewhat drowsy Fili, pulling him onto his legs immediately, for he had found strength again in the pure thought of helping those who needed aid. His brother, after learning the news, smiled widely and rushed besides him to the rest of their company.

All of them were awake already, gathered around a great table in the royal dining hall, the same room they found them in when they first arrived to the Mountain. Bombur was cooking in the kitchen nearby.

He shared the news with them, and just then, Thorin came through the door. In the middle of the sentence, Kili lost his voice, for the darkness returned to his uncle's eyes and it grew deeper than ever before. Upon hearing his words of the arrival of men, shadow fell upon him, clouding his features as well as his mind.

After moments of grave silence, his dark voice echoed through the hall.

"I will not have this Mountain robbed of its gold after all we have endured to take it back."

His words were met with silence. The company was looking at him with disbelief and confusion.

"But..." It was Bilbo's voice which broke the silence. "They do not wish to rob you, Thorin."

"They only come for that which was promised to them." Fili added.

"I will hear no more. The Mountain is ours to protect. The gate has to be shut by tonight. A wall needs to be built before the arrival of men. You will start when you finish eating."

He turned around only to speak again. "Too long have I wanted to reclaim what is mine. I will not be robbed."

With that, he turned around and left for good. Kili and Fili shared a look of pure shock and amazement. And amazed they were by their uncle's cruelness.

None dared to speak, to even move, for they all hoped if enough time passed, Thorin would return and laugh at them for believing his words. It was now there for everyone to see, the madness. Yet they had no choice but to follow.

Oaths they have sworn. Duties they have taken.

Kili still has not shared his earlier experience with his brother. He still has not told him of their uncle being trapped in his own mind, of him fighting the madness and trying hard to overcome it. But upon seeing Thorin now, he wondered if he had only imagined it all before. He wondered if he imagined his uncle's affectionate gaze, one he would receive when he would make him proud. It was not something he usually received from him, being a sort of a reckless disappointment, but it made those rare moments even more valuable and Kili knew the emotion in his uncle's eyes by heart.

He has dedicated his life to making him proud. He has dedicated his life to meeting his eyes filled with love and pride that were usually so well masked and hidden. He has dedicated his life to Thorin.

And now, while showing stone after stone into a chart and wheeling it to the wall that was slowly forming under his companions' hands, he wished nothing but to crawl underneath a pile of rock and sob until his lungs gave out.

* * *

His leg was hurting him, even more so after a sleepless night followed by a day full of work and disappointment. The wall was finally finished, tall and thick it stood before them, a barrier between their company and everybody else.

A tangible obstacle dividing him and that whom his heart desired. He wished nothing else but the comfort of her embrace after all that happened.

For it was now clear for everyone to see that Thorin Oakenshield was himself no more.

He would rather break his promise given to the people of Lake town, people that lost more than could ever be returned to them, than part with a fraction of his gold, a part of the gold that was so small, almost invisible compared to all that would remain.

But Thorin would not help them. He would not give them what he alone had promised.

_People of Lake town should rejoice. There is much they should be grateful for. _

As if it was their fault the sleeping dragon was awoken. As if it was their fault...

Many have perished in the dragon fire. Many poor souls were lost to this world, and many more were cold and hungry, approaching the Mountain in need of aid, in need of help they would not get.

He had raised his voice. After a day of tireless work, even in his weakened state he did not falter, but coldness spreading from Thorin's heart froze his own blood. He could not stand by without offering a word of reason.

"People of Lake town lost everything..." His words echoed in silence, meeting eyes all around that tried their best to mask emotions behind them, for they all felt the same. "They have nothing..."

His words were echoing with so much more than what was spoken. He was pleading his uncle to cast away the shadow clouding his mind. He was pleading his uncle to return to him, to comfort him, for he did not know how to live without his support, without his steady arm on his smaller shoulder.

He felt like a little boy again, afraid of all that was bigger than him. And now he felt as if the entirety of Middle Earth was growing taller and taller, pushing them further into the cold stone of the Mountain and shutting the door forever.

He felt as a little dwarfling, and he felt as old as the Mountain itself, both at the same time.

Soon after, his brother followed. When no one else could reason with Thorin, he would have a soft spot for his eldest sister-son. His heir. If anyone could reach him, if was Fili. But it seemed that far away Thorin Oakenshield was and a mere shadow took his place amongst them.

"How can you not see reason?" Fili's loud voice echoed all the way from the Throne Hall their uncle was now occupying. A look of defeat and pure desperation on his face required no words of explanation.

They retreated to their rooms. All that was needed to be done was done. Leave it to the dwarves to erect a functioning stone wall in one single day.

But again, Kili could not sleep. And sleep was what he desired the most. For if he could not hold her in his arms, if he could not smell her hair and kiss her skin, he would at least melt in the memory of her eyes and her touch. The need was hurting him like physical pain and he could fight it no more.

What came upon him? What sort of destiny awaited him? He could feel it close, luring in the shadows before his eyes, just barely out of reach. A feeling of dread has still not left him. The danger was more and more tangible, like a faint scent becoming more evident, faint but so familiar.

He closed his eyes and let the rhythm of his brother's snores lull him to sleep. When he was young and afraid, he would curl up next to him and fall asleep in his arms, waking up the next morning rested and happy. But now, his brother's presence awoke a heavy feeling inside of him.

A feeling that turned his bones to stone and his blood to ice. A strong fear. Fear for his brother's life.

His eyes snapped open and he had to physically check if his brother was still alive beside him. His loud snores reassured him immediately, but it took him another few moments to calm his breath.

Future without Fili was unthinkable. Unimaginable. Impossible. He would not think of it again. For the mere thought of his brother's death was killing him.

When he finally calmed, he felt his consciousness slipping away, like light slowly fading from his mind, leaving him in darkness. But it was not a kind of darkness he had fallen into before, the darkness that ripped his soul from his body and caused him pain he alone was not sure how he could have withstand. It was a comfortable darkness, for he could feel her emerging from the back of his mind. From that small room he had locked her into, even though he could never banish her from his mind willingly.

Even uninvited, she would wander into his consciousness, and he could just feel her like an ache in his heart. But now, he welcomed her into his mind, he welcomed her like a soothing medicine. For with her, he could lose himself. He could forget all that was, that is and that will be...

_Tauriel._

Was she thinking of him? Was she safe?

Even on the edge of sleep, he smiled, for he knew the answer to those questions in his heart. Mahal, how was it even possible for her to love him. He still had to think of it every now and then just to grasp the possibility of it being true. She had not spoken the words, but her eyes were speaking instead. How could the fairest and purest of Iluvatar's children ever look from the heights of stars down upon such a creature that was him...

Oh Mahal, what did he do to deserve the look full of love she gave him, the feeling of her lips on his in the softest of kisses... What did he do, for he would do it hundreds of times more. He would give his life to prove his worth, even if worthy he was not nor ever would be.

He could feel the weight of the promise he had given to her in his very heart. He could feel it like a warm fire spreading through his insides, consuming him slowly, but entirely.

He wondered what would it feel like to truly keep his promise. To return to her and make her his. He wondered what would it feel like to hold her in his arms. To truly have her. To worship her body as his mind already had...

He also wondered if she ever truly would be his. If he would ever have the honour of claiming her as his own. For he was hers. Entirely and irrevocably...

None would approve. None except Fili, of course. There would be others from their company, Bofur and Oin first, who would like her and eventually welcome her amongst them, but there were dwarves and dwarves waiting to return to the Mountain with hearts full of ancient hatred towards the elves. But he would sent them all to hell gladly, for he would not be ashamed of _his elf_ at any cost. He would not be ashamed nor afraid of their future.

They fought eagerly to reclaim the Mountain, to reclaim their ancient home, yet Kili felt in his heart those cold stone halls would never be his true home. Without her, he would find neither peace nor happiness amongst them.

And Thorin... No, he would not think of Thorin. He would not think of Thorin's crazed and deranged mind, for in this particular state, Kili was sure he would kill him on the spot if he admitted his love for an elf.

He would think of her and of her alone... He would rest holding her in his arms even if only in his dreams. He would rest now with his promise hanging in the air, reminding him of a very possible, yet almost unbelievable future in which he would hold her in his arms for real. And not a day would pass, not an hour in which he would not show her just how much she is loved.

_Tauriel..._

When he opened his eyes, rays of light were dancing on his skin. It seemed like mere hours had passed, but he was lost to the realms of sleep for the entire night. Morning was already in the midst and his brother was nowhere to be seen. He probably left his sleep undisturbed for he knew of his sleepless nights and exhaustion that had taken over him.

He raised from the bed and stretched his sore muscles, already feeling better from long hours of rest. After putting on his clothes and armour, he descended the hallway and joined others in the dining hall.

But it seemed none other was nearly as fresh as he was, for they had learned the news of Men's arrival to the city of Dale. It was now on Thorin to decide whether he would help them as promised, or break his word as a lesser man than he truly was.

Sadness overtook him for he too knew the answer already. There was no way Thorin would part with one single coin of gold.

After being summoned to the wall, all the dread he was feeling in the past days filled him up tenfold, overwhelming him. Mahal, he would rather throw himself off the wall that very moment...

The peril he felt nearing, the shadows building up inside of him before he was able to see them, finally showed. For the elven army was in the city of Dale. For Bard the Dragonslayer was riding towards them, asking his uncle to fulfil the word that was given.

A black raven of Erebor has already departed for the Iron Hills, bringing words of Thranduil's army on their doorstep. And Dain would answer wholeheartedly for there were no more dragons waiting in the Mountain. He would not turn down the call this time.

War was upon them.

He sent a silent plea to Mahal himself. He pleaded that blonde Prince of Mirkwood had locked her in a cell or took her somewhere far away. For facing her on the battlefield... Having to choose between her and his kin, between his soul and his family...

His body was stone. His blood was ice.

He felt hollow.

Empty.

Dead already...

* * *

_AN- So, it began... the great battle is at their doorstep._

_Please share your thoughts on this! I wrote this chapter in a hurry and I'm sorry for eventual mistakes (I have to study A LOT these days, I barely managed the time anyway!)._

_Thank you again for amazing reviews! I should probably answer every one of them, cause honestly, they bring a smile to my face, but like I said before - I don't have a lot of spare time these days! Hope I'll be able to update soon enough._

_Thank you for reading and please-share your thoughts!_

_Cheers!_


	8. Chapter 8 - Only a dream

_**Chapter 8 – Only a dream**_

His legs were numb. Only his arm seemed to obey his will as he dragged his body onwards. The ground beneath him, hard and cold already, was slowly turning into a shade of crimson, tainted with streams of black that were glistening like poison.

He could hear the raging sounds of an ongoing battle, devastating clash after clash as metal met metal. His vision was blurred, shadows danced around the edges of his sight, slowly but steadily growing before his eyes, like a curtain closing on the view of life before him.

He was dying. He could feel it. His wounds were bleeding heavily, leaving vermilion streaks on the cold stone beneath him as his breath got more short and painful.

His still willing hand grabbed onto something familiar. A few strands of hair hardened by dirt and dampened by blood. Nevertheless, he would recognize that particular hair anywhere, for he was the one who used to braid it so often. Mahal's beard, he has been jealous of it and the matching set of beard for as long as he remembered.

Fighting the excruciating pain, he raised himself into a half-sitting position and grasped his brother's shoulder.

Tears were leaving his eyes even before he placed them on his brother's empty ones. He was dead. His brother, his soul, his own self was dead.

Unimaginable pain spread throughout him, but somewhere in the back of his tortured mind he could guess it had nothing to do with the state of his dying body. For he would die and he would do so gladly, only to join his brother in the halls of their ancestors and never to look into his eyes empty of life again. It was overwhelming. Never had he felt such devastating pain seeping into every fibre of his being, burning its way through his consciousness...

But he was dying too... Life was slowly leaving his body.

Ah Mahal, even drowned in immense pain and sorrow, he could not despair, for his brother was waiting for him on the other side. Just moments now, just moments and he would see him, free of blood and pain.

He dragged his body a bit more and placed his head onto his brother's shoulder, his lifeless arm still grasping the hilt of a sword.

There would die the sons of Durin. There they would die, on the field of battle, taking as many of the accursed with them as their bodies forged by Mahal himself could kill. So young and inexperienced, lost in a dream of home they had reclaimed, but never had the opportunity to enjoy.

He closed his eyes, tears now wetting his brother's already bloodied armour. There lied sons of Dis, heirs of Erebor... Blood slowly seeping out of their wounds and claiming the land beneath them, as if to mark it as their own. As if to claim it as theirs, when all of their birthright would perish before their eyes.

_If only I could see her one more time before the end… If only I could tell her what my heart desires._

His eyes were playing tricks on him, offering him a hint of what his mind desired, for he saw fire dancing before his eyes and emeralds shining even from afar…

"Kili!"

The scream filled with such pain and sorrow wounded his already dying heart. He wanted to speak, to reassure the maiden with fiery hair that it was alright… That she was safe, and at that point, it was all that really mattered to his heart.

He was treading the path towards eternity away from her, never to be reunited, but he was treading it lightly for she would live on.

The beautiful maiden with fiery hair and emerald eyes ungracefully fell onto the ground next to him, extending her arms towards his face.

He tiredly leaned his head into her touch, but could not feel the warmth of her skin. He could not taste the salt of her tears when she crashed her lips onto his. He could not feel the deliciously sweet scent of her breath when she pleaded him not to die, not to leave her alone...

In that moment, he fully met his mortality. For his brother was already waiting for him in the Halls of Mahal, alongside his fallen kin and heroic forebears in whose company he would no longer feel unworthy. He could almost see them, smiling shyly but lovingly, only a thin layer of life now dividing them.

And she, she whom he pledged his heart and soul to, would not be there. Not even after all the long years of her life were spent. Not even after all of the divine grace left her body.

They would be parted, never to truly belong to one another, never to even say...

He wanted to part his lips, to speak up, to tell her of his love, but could not… The darkness was already taking him, but he could not make his lips move with the power of his will anymore.

_I love you, Tauriel... I love you. Amrâlimê._

Icy laughter filled his senses as the accursed Azog the Defiler met his eyes, realizing the two sons of Durin were at death's door.

The maiden suddenly gasped, those emerald eyes of hers widening in shock as the tip of a blade pierced her chest from behind.

He could not move. He could not save her. He could not stop the Pale orc from taking her life.

_Not her.._.

He had to fight! He had already failed his brother who now lied dead underneath him. He could not fail her!

_Not her, not Tauriel..._

He wished to scream. To move his blasted muscles that were all but dead.

To jump in front of the blade and feel it's metal in his own flesh.

But he could not.

He could do nothing but watch in silence, frozen, as her eyes closed and her fiery head hit the cold earth beneath. He could do nothing but watch, frozen, as her eyes met his for one last time and her lips parted, willing to speak, but releasing a stream of crimson blood instead, suffocating her in silence...

He could just lay there. Frozen.

Suddenly he sat up, a loud shout on his lips and a dagger in his hand. His tunic was drenched in cold sweat and his heart was beating loudly in his chest. He could not breathe. He could still see her eyes empty of life before him...

Moments passed before he truly felt his brother's hand on his own arm, his tight grip trying to bring him back to reality.

"It was a dream, Kili." His voice sounded like spoken from a great distance, his senses still perceiving the sounds of a raging battlefield from his mind.

"Kili. Kili!" Fili brought his other hand to the side of his face, his grip never leaving the hand that still wielded the dagger. "Look at me, Kili!"

He met his brother's eyes, not even trying to conceal streams of tears openly pouring from his. His grip on the dagger faltered and it was the only sign his older brother needed. "Oh, Kili..." He brought his arms around him and crashed him to his chest. The younger brother had no strength in him to try and conceal the tears wetting his cheeks or open sobs leaving his lungs.

Fill just held him close. A few of his own tears fell onto his brother's tangled mess of hair while he was murmuring soft words of comfort and encouragement, knowing already that neither comfort nor courage they would bring to his brother.

He was an older brother and for all of Kili's life he has been his rock, his constant. One that would never falter. One that would never cease to watch over him.

And now, for the first time amongst his still young years, Fili knew not what to say. Could his words even bring comfort to his little brother? Huh, to his little brother that has never been smaller or more vulnerable in all the years behind them.

Never before had Kili been hurt like that. Not even when Thorin yelled at him when they were mere dwarflings. Or when others of their age called him an unworthy tree-shagging elf for his obvious love of archery and lack of a proper beard. Or when he disappointed Thorin again and again, never truly living up to his expectations...

Never before had his brother clenched the front of his shirt and sobbed so loudly, breaking, if only for a moment, all of those carefully built walls shielding his heart.

Sobs emerging from his brother's broken spirit were shattering his own soul, making him clasp his arms around his trembling figure and bury his face into the tangled nest of Kili's curls.

Moments have passed, maybe hours even. Kili's sobs turned into silent whimpers, but still he held onto his brother for dear life.

Fili brought his hands to his little brother's face and lifted his head to rest his forehead against his own. Such act of love was common among their people, but in these circumstances it meant more than all else.

Young Durins rested their heads against one another, holding their hearts and minds out, giving all they had to the other.

Taking a deep soothing breath, the dark haired dwarf looked into the other one's eyes, meeting only immense love and desire to understand in return. Fili gripped his shoulder, wishing the young one would confide in him like he used to.

"Fee..." The older one barely contained the shudder his childhood nickname spoken in such manner caused. Kili's voice was grave and filled with such grief and sadness he could not refrain the single tear from spilling over his cheek.

"Khâzash...Kili." He encouraged, tightening his grip.

"You... You were dead." The older brother briefly closed his eyes shut. Kili continued, his voice tearing his spirit to shreds.

"You were dead. I... I found you and looked into your eyes... But they were empty, Fee... You died... And I was not by your side...I...I let you down, Fee... I let you..."

Fili embraced him once more. "You couldn't let me down, you beardless orc. How could you? For if my soul left for the halls of waiting, nothing would I desire more than to see my brother live."

Kili hugged him fiercely, fighting another set of sobs. Fili spoke no more, for he sensed his brother's story had not yet met its end.

After a few agonizing moments of silence, Kili moved his trembling body and tried to compose himself. For he would need the strength to speak of what happened next in his dream.

"I was wounded...badly. I could feel the life slipping away... Shadows were claiming me once more. But... But when I saw you... I fought it no more. I wished to die besides you..."

Fili's grip on his shoulder tightened painfully. "Do not say that. Do not say that ever again, brother." He spoke fiercely. "If I am to die, you are to live. You keep fighting, Khâzash..." There he stopped, overwhelming emotion blocking his words. But his eyes were piercing those of his brother, forcing him to accept his words as an order, knowing already of their failure.

After moments of silence, Kili looked away. What he saw next was private. Intimate. And it hurt him more than all else. How could he even tell his brother of his greatest fears, how could he when it brought shame upon him? Such shame and disappointment in his own self.

"Tauriel... She came." Fili nodded, for he had been expecting the elf-maiden's involvement in his brother's darkest fears.

"She... She came and found us... Found me... She pleaded me not to leave her... But I could..." He sighed. His next words were spoken barely above whisper. "I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I lied there, frozen... I... I could only watch as... As Azog came... And killed her... Before my eyes. I could only watch. I couldn't save her. I couldn't save her, Fee..."

Fili grabbed his shoulders and brought him close once more, but Kili was not crying. The mere emptiness of his voice made his older brother tremble. Emptiness. Resignation. Disappointment.

"It was just a dream, Khâzash. It was just a dream..."

Kili sighed against his chest. "I know brother. But really. It was not... It was real."

Fili eyed him carefully. "What is it that you speak of?"

Kili looked away, slowly filling his lungs with air before uttering his next words. "Was it a dream? Was it really? We are on a brink of war. With her kin! With her people..."

After that days occurrences, they were not deluding themselves anymore. The day after, elven army would take place before the gate, asking only if what was promised would be given. And every man, elf and dwarf knew the answer already. For Thorin already denied Berd what was promised. And Bard would not return alone.

"Dread has been filling me for days, brother. Ever since we left that shore, I've kept feeling the danger nearing. Peril and death await, just out of reach or sight, but I feel them. I've seen the shadows, Fee. I've seen the darkness and I cannot wash its taste from my mouth. And I'm sensing it again. Nearing. Slowly approaching. Lurking. Whatever is to happen tomorrow, I fear it will not be the whole of it... I fear death is upon us all."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "And I know you feel it too, Fili. I know you, as well as myself, cannot believe we have seen the last of Azog and his spawns."

Fili nodded, for the same fear was slowly eating his soul. The Lonely Mountain has always been precious to his people. But not only for the gold and gems that lied under its surface. The Mountain's position was of strategic importance.

Kili got onto his feet and slowly walked towards the window. The cold air felt refreshing against his damp shirt, cooling the burning skin underneath. He welcomed the coldness as a purging sensation that was clearing his mind.

"In these hours I fear we are forsaking opportunities of forming alliances that are so desperately needed. Thorin would shit on Thranduils grave and for what? A chest of gems? He's not asking for the Arkenstone..." The younger brother sighed, still looking outside, towards the flickering fires in the ruins of Dale. "And what about men? We could give them two thousand times more than what was promised and it would not make a dent in Erebor's wealth."

Fili nodded. "I know, brother. I know." He shook his head. "I tried speaking to him. I tried to reason with him. But he will not listen. And there is nothing we can do. He is our King, after all. Even though we are openly disobeying him, we cannot do the same before the elves or men. For they would sense our reluctance to support our uncle, and that would make their attack even easier." He sighed and brought his head into his hands. "We cannot do a thing..."

He looked up and observed his brother. The younger one was looking outside, only moonlight illuminating his face. He could not help the pride filling him for his reckless brother now spoke like the wisest of the sons of Durin. Like a royal dwarf. Like a King... Being an heir himself, his heart swelled with pride and gratefulness for having an heir of his own. For his brother would follow after him and there was none other he wished to take Kili's place.

It was still his little brother. Still taller than most, beardless and strong. But wiser. Braver.

Only a few would ever admit their love for the one their race despised. But Kili... Kill would see it done. He would not falter. He would not let anything to stand between him and his loved one. Not even his own kin. And Fili was immensely proud of him for it.

He had never been in love. There were pretty lasses, of course, lots of them. But neither one of them stirred something in his heart. Watching his brother now, so deeply in love and ready to risk all for it, he could not help but to feel a small sting of jealousy. For even if it was hard, even if the obstacles before them were almost unconquerable, even if it was a mere dream... Fill knew it was worth it. For the joy that seemed as old as earth itself would fill his brother's eyes every time he spoke of her...

He got onto his feet and joined Kili near the window, but he did not look outside. He looked into his brother's tortured eyes.

"You fear for her."

After a moment of silence, Kili met his gaze and nodded. "Yes..."

"It was only a dream, Kili."

Kili sighed. "Yes... But I watched her die. I watched her being slaughtered by that filth. And I couldn't save her. I couldn't move..." He closed his eyes, trying to shove away the still fresh image of blood on Tauriel's lips...

They both looked into the distance. "Do you think she is there?" Fili eyed the ruins before them.

"No." His swift answer surprised even himself. "I know she isn't."

"How?"

"I can't say... I don't understand it myself. I just know she is not there." He looked into his brother's eyes. "For if she was, I would be on my way... I would go to her."

Fili nodded slowly. "And what then?"

Kili sighed. "I do not know. I cannot abandon my kin. I cannot abandon you. I belong with you and I would not have it any other way. But... I cannot abandon her either."

"Maybe you won't have to choose. Maybe we will fight side by side with them in the end."

Kili nodded. He sighed. "I feel something else approaching. I can't quite grasp it, but the feeling is there." He sighed and turned around. Slowly pacing towards the bed, his words echoed throughout the chamber of stone.

Fili's chest tightened painfully. "Whatever is that lies before us, we will tread that path together."

Kili sighed. "Will we fight the elves? Will we fight the men? Will we slaughter Bard and his children, those who helped us when all else turned their backs?"

Fili shook his head. "No. If we were to fight against them, I will not participate. I will not slay those who we are indebted to." He sighed. "Come. Sit. Let's not talk of that anymore." He sat onto the side of the bed, waving a hand at his brother to join him. He continued.

"If this ends well for us... If Thorin returns to his senses and becomes crowned King... When all is settled, what will you do?"

"What do you mean, Fili?"

Fili smiled. "You are a Prince, that you are. The blood of Durin runs strong in you, brother. But you will never find peace here. Not without her..."

Kili nodded. "I will go after her. I will not let this go without a fight. I love her."

Fili laughed lightly at the sheer fierceness of his brother's voice. "I've seen the way she looked at you, brother. I'll tell you now, the she-elf would follow you to the end of the world and right back."

Kili's mind shifted back to the painful images of battle. Oh, Mahal, what would he give just to see her safe and sound. What would he give just to know she was far away indeed, in another world. What would he give never to see her in danger...

"What do you fear, little brother? It was only a dream. No harm will come to her."

Kili sighed. "It is not only that, Fili. I cannot describe how I feel... I saw her dying before my eyes, unable to do a thing. Unable to help her... Unable to give my life for her protection, if that is what was needed."

Tears welled in his eyes again, but he would not let them fall. Never will that painful sight make its way out of his mind.

"I... Fili, I just..."

His brother's hand on his shoulders gave him more courage. "Ever since we left that shore, I fear I will never see her again. I don't know why, it is just... I... I cannot live without her. Every moment without her feels like a fresh stab to my heart. It's a wound that won't stop bleeding, no matter how hard I try to mend it."

Fili moved his gaze onto the flickering flames that were spreading warmth from the hearth. "Kili... Would you pledge yourself to her?"

Kili smiled. "I already have pledged myself to her. I already have pledged all that I am to her."

After moments of silence, he met his brother's serious gaze. "I know what you ask of me. The answer is yes. Yes, I would bind myself to her before the world. I would bind myself to her before our kin. I would marry her."

Fili sat in silence, merely observing his brother. Then, he smiled widely. "Mahal, we will live to see that day."

Kili smiled, but a deeper sadness shadowed his eyes. "No matter how hard I try or how much I desire it, I cannot bring myself to believe it would ever be possible."

Fili sighed. "I wish I could give you comfort, brother. But I cannot find the words that would encourage you. Whatever path lies before us, we will tread it together. And I swear, I will help you. Mahal curse me, I will help you and Tauriel."

"Thank you, brother."

Two brothers embraced, both feeling exhausted by the emotional turmoil one had experienced more than the other.

Fili laughed, lightning the mood. "Why wouldn't I? After all, your children will be my heirs. Little dwarf-elves. Dwelfs. I wonder if they'll be as graceful as her or as ugly as you."

Kili's cheeks reddened in embarrassment, all to his brother's delight.

"Oh, clearly you have thought about it, brother? Or you thought all that love-making you intend to do after you get her back would not result in children? Has Ma ever told you how children are made? Or Thorin maybe? Do you want me to fetch Dwalin and have him explain..."

That was the moment his brother's fist connected with his jaw and they both chuckled playfully.

Fili once again eyed his brother and could not help but feel proud of the dwarf he became.

* * *

_AN: Hi there, my dear readers and followers!_

_Another one of the emotionally crippling chapters, I'm afraid._

_I don't know why, but I just wanted to have this moment between Kili and Fili! Somehow dealing with what will happen eventually, but still oblivious to their actual destiny._

_After seeing BOTFA, it was really hard for me to deal with their deaths. As I've already written somewhere, I'm a Tolkien-purist, thus I was kinda pissed when they didn't die defending Thorin... BUT at the same time, their deaths were so much, much, much worse... And for me, they inspired a whole new level of feelings and... well, pain._

_Each one of them thought at least one survived. And somehow... that's what breaks my heart. And also, each one of them died differently, and even though some underestimate the meanings or value of their deaths, I cannot agree... (Some of you can guess, this was hugely inspired by the EVIL Kili vs. Fili posts on tumblr)_

_There will be more talk about this in future chapters, of course. Most of the next one is already written (it seems that when I start writing, I just can't stop, regardless of the amount of exams I should be studying for), but I've rather had them divided to have this one end right here._

_Thank you very much for reading and especially for reviewing! It means a lot and I'd be happier if more of you shared your thoughts! Thank you!_


	9. Chapter 9 - Death is Upon Us

_**Chapter 9- Death is upon us**_

They have finally reached Gundabad. The poor animal beneath them was left a fair distance behind, for no creature with a heart so pure dared venture closer, for the pure evil was seeping from the Mountain crowned with a fortress of stone as red as blood.

Tauriel feared neither death nor evil, for she had seen both and her heart had stayed pure. But the very blood in her veins seemed frozen, and her heart had to double its efforts to pump it through her veins.

Mount Gundabad was quiet. There was no chipper of birds, no whisper of leaves rustled by wind... no sound of the footsteps of the breathing of those who lived. The place was dead and filled with dread, and the dread seemed to fill her with every step she took towards the fortress.

Legolas beside her fell silent. His eyes, usually so bright and full of life, darkened. His shoulders slumped. In all of her years she has not seen her friend look so young and vulnerable.

They approached the smaller hill that stood at fair distance from the fortress. It gave them both cover and a fair sight over the valley before them.

But the silence... The silence was so unnatural. She could hear her own thoughts like silent whispers in her mind that ought to drive her mad. She heard every sound the strands of her hair made against her clothes, the shuffle of fabric against stone. She could feel the heaviness in the air, an unnatural presence of something that by no means should reside amongst the living.

The very bones in her body seemed frozen and for once, she was glad to have been seated and sheltered.

Her friend was lost in thoughts. Better say in memories, memories of nightmares, for his skin paled and his eyes darkened towards deeper shades of grey. The tension of his body was translated onto the air surrounding him, slowly reaching her and making her skin crawl. She had never seen him so... haunted.

She dared not to speak, to disturb his thoughts, for he had so much on his mind... She knew him and she knew him well. When ready, he would speak to her.

This place made her nervous in a way she had not felt ever in her long years. The weight of the runestone in her pocket was overwhelming, dragging her body towards the cold stone beneath. Her mind was as dark as the shadows of the fortress before them, casting darkness over the light, drowning all hope in the fountains of sorrow.

In that dark hour, she could not feel any hope. How could one feel hope when the darkness was spreading its icy fingers towards all light? How could one feel love when death drowned every thought of happiness and future? How could she?

The place itself felt like lair of pure evil. Of deepest darkness that has not been seen in Middle-Earth from the days of old. From the ages when the one they called the Witch King of Angmar ruled these lands and brought nothing but peril and death to those who opposed the rule of the One he served.

Dead he was, but dead he had been long before the fall of Sauron. It was said he fled to the darkness of Mordor after his master fell, to dwell in the shadows and rule over the orcs. None dared to venture and seek out the truth, for the memories of Nazgul were fresh and painful in the minds of men, elves and dwarves.

Ages have passed, ages since the fall of Angmar. Yet still did the fortress carry power unbeknown to a being of a pure heart. Power that sent shivers like icy scratches down the skin of her back. Power of pure evil. For long in the ages that are yet to pass will the lair of the servant of Morgoth carry its taint.

She could not wait to venture into the great distance behind her, towards Erebor, towards Mirkwood. Both places seemed like home now. Mirkwood for all the years she had spent dwelling beneath its trees. Erebor for her heart's greatest joy dwelled somewhere beneath the mountain, hopefully safe and happy, reunited with his kin.

What would be of them, she knew not. But the darkness spreading across the lands before her tainted her mind as well, for she could not have hope in the future. The very view of the lair of evil took all traces of happiness from her soul. She could no longer recall the sweetness of his voice or the depths of his eyes... the roughness of his skin or the soft touch of his hair...

Sinking deeper into despair, she needed to take deep gulps of air that seemed to further intoxicate her soul, for the air around the fortress was heavy.

After hours of silence, what little light had managed to reach the accursed land now hid behind the mountains, leaving them in darkness. Legolas turned to meet her gaze, for she was studying his features closely.

A silent conversation was taking place inside his own head, whether to trust her with what none else knew or to let the little knowledge of his grief fall into depths of his own memory. She bore her heart naked before him and spoke of her love for the dwarf openly, yet still she managed to regain strength and continue on without feeling of lesser worth for someone knew of her weakness.

When he met her eyes, he met the sight of understanding, encouragement and comfort only the truest of friends could offer one another.

"My mother died there." He spoke silently. Tauriel's eyes-widened, for she too never heard of the late Queen's passage. Many of their people remembered not her name. His own father has fallen prisoner to alcohol and isolation far too many times ever since. None now remembered the unconditional love and warmth they held for each-other.

"My father does not speak of it." Oh, how he wished he did. How he wished his father could for once not succumb to the still raw pain eating up his soul and tearing him away. The only reason he had not faded was himself. Legolas needed to be carried for. He could not leave for the Undying lands in pursuit of his bellowed for their son was left to him, no more than an elfling at the time.

Oh, how Legolas wished to remember the sound of her voice. The look of her face. Anything. Anything at all. But she was just a memory that would venture into the back of his mind during slumber and he would so desperately try to grasp it, only to reach it, touch it slightly with the tips of his fingers and watch it fade.

"There is no grave... No memory... Nothing..." It took him another look into Tauriel's eyes to realize he had spoken those words out loud. Tears that would not be spilled welled in her eyes, for she felt the grief of her friend as her own.

After moments of heavy silence that none wished to break, a loud sound was heard from the fortress. Very soon, legions of orcs swarmed the valley, the aim of their swords targeting one place-Erebor.

Coldness spread through her. Something akin to the deepest of fears engulfed her, for she knew what was to follow. The dread that had been eating up her soul and pulling her towards despair has finally shown its face.

_Kili..._

Legolas met her eyes and could not hold his hand from travelling to her shoulder and giving her a reassuring squeeze. An offer of comfort he knew he could not provide. Not when he had to shatter her hope even further.

"There will be another army coming from the south. Gundabad is not their stronghold. This army is being sent to finish what another one might have already started."

Her eyes widened and her face fell. But none was reflecting the screaming that echoed through her mind.

"They have to be warned." She whispered.

Her friend only nodded. Was he as afraid as her, she did not know. But she feared the days, the hours that were before her. For she knew they would bring nothing but death and ruin.

They mounted the horse and galloped their way back, with dread in their minds and hope in their hearts.

People of Lake-town would have already reclaimed the ruins of Dale. And dwarves were all at the Mountain. Would she live to see them all die?

So many poor souls, so many innocent lives... Many of them might already be lost...

She could not feel sorry for defying her King's orders even before, but at that moment she knew she would have hated herself for all the ages before her if she had not gone. With each victory, the evil in this world grew, and she knew in her heart they had already let it grow far too much.

The orcs had to be stopped. Their foul shields needed to be shattered and their cursed flesh pierced.

Legolas informed her earlier of Thranduil's forces departing for the Mountain, so she felt another weight on her heart for her own people were in danger of the darkness. But they had to fight.

They had to fight the evil surrounding them, for all of the races of Middle-Earth had to be united once and for all against the enemy.

But still, she could not feel selfish for thinking of her one in that hour of darkness. Her heart bled when she felt the weight of the runestone on her chest.

_Kili..._

* * *

When the first light appeared on the horizon, they rose and approached the wall, the barrier dividing them and those who dared to challenge.

Indeed, elves in golden armours filled the valley before Erebor. Their number was great, but an army of any number would have an advantage before a company of thirteen dwarves and one hobbit.

The leader of the force, Thranduil, and Bard the Dragonslayer on his side, were approaching the mountain. A smaller number of humans could be seen on the right flank, for they had also taken to arms in demand of what was rightfully theirs. Everyone wanted a share of treasure.

Kili could understand that, and knew it was somewhat expected, but he hadn't thought war would be fought over it. He would have gladly given Thranduil his blasted gems and people of Lake-town what was promised. There was more than enough and that thought had crossed his mind more times than necessary.

But the decision and the rule of Erebor was not up to him, but their King, Thorin, who stood proudly before them, as if inviting the two leaders to dare and come closer. When they indeed have, an arrow pierced the air and landed between Thranduil and Bard, marking the furthest spot they would claim.

Thorin would not give up. Not even before armies of men and elves. He just stood there, a daring smirk on his lips. Nothing Thranduil or Bard could do to agitate his spirit into reaction.

Until... Until Kili laid his eyes on the King's Jewel for the first time in his life. The Arkenstone. Big and shiny it was, a majestic heirloom of his Line. The one gem which would bestow upon a true son of Durin the right to call on all the Seven tribes of dwarves. Their birthright.

In the hands of Bard the Dragonslayer.

An unexplainable anger flashed through his body, for the sight of betrayal and dishonour flamed his blood. How dared he? Who was he, Bard the Bowman, to take that which was rightfully theirs?

"Thieves!" His angered voice echoed throughout the valley. He felt Bard's eyes on himself, the man probably realized for the first time the one he had harboured in his home was a royal dwarf. "How came you by the heirloom of our House?"

He wanted to strangle the man with his own hands. What a disrespect to the Line of Durin! To their King before them! He wanted to slay each and every one of them...

How did they get the gem, he would have never guessed on his own. Bilbo Baggins. The little hobbit of the Shire would betray them in such manner? It was hardly possible to even think of. His heart bled, for the little one had grown in his heart, and he had held him in the highest of places. He had thought of him as of the closest of friends.

Thorin's reaction was what brought him to his senses, for if his uncle had ever fallen into the darkest depths of golden sickness, it was in that hour. Fili and himself had to join forces to stop him from throwing the poor hobbit from the wall.

What he realized at that moment was the influence the Arkenstone held over him and his brother both. For a moment, their judgements had been clouded, and if it were not for the hobbit, they would not see it.

All Bilbo wanted was to save them all. To lead Thorin into a place where he could no longer endanger their lives. He could feel no anger for the hobbit, for he had, as he always had before, thought of nothing but their wellbeing.

Thorin let him go. The rest of the company sent him silent apologies with nothing but their eyes, for the hobbit grew on them and they counted him as one of their own. Thorin would not see to it. The betrayal hurt him too deep, but all he could see was still the gold.

The question was fairly simple. "Will you have peace or war?"

Thorin did not falter. "I will have war."

The word had reached them moments ago, and at that hour, the arrival of their kin from the Iron Hills was heard. Lord Dain, Thorin's cousin, was bringing a force amongst the fiercest in the Middle-Earth. The Ironfoot has arrived.

Cheers were heard amongst their kin and Kili was happy to see them. Thranduil would not dare to attack Erebor, they would not risk open war against the dwarves.

It was what he thought before both armies called to arms.

A fear as old as life itself seeped into his bones, for he felt death nearing. Surely, he would die. By the hand of an elf, no less. His love appeared before his eyes and he feared he would not see her ever again.

Curious it was, maybe Mahal was sending him a message. Maybe their love and his hope were so wrong the very Forger of life had to intervene and stop it. But he could not care for he would do it a hundred times over.

He could only hope she was as far away as possible, not being dragged into war against him and his kin, for he would dare to raise his sword against any elf, man or even dwarf that would put her in harm's way.

He could only hope she was locked in a cell in Mirkwood. For it would mean she could not be here. Not here, where the very world was ending. Not here, where former allies raised arms against each other, while more evil forces were moving in the shadows towards them.

He met Fili's gaze and saw the same fear that engulfed him completely. But seeing his brother afraid brought a bit of courage to him, for he felt he was not alone.

It was the hour the sons of Durin would stand against all to protect what was theirs. To protect their ancient home and the heart of their Kingdom. He could not feel sorry, even if his heart told him the war with the elves was wrong. He could not feel sorry, for Durin's own blood warmed his veins, and rallied his heart to his kin.

Clouds have hidden the pale winter sun, rather spilling icy snow over the lands. Shadows moved on the south. For a moment, Kili's senses dulled and he could hear no more voices of his kin beside him. He could hear not but for the sound of his heart in his ears.

He felt it. He felt the pull from the hills before them. He felt the shadows moving through stone, conquering it as if it were mere air. His view seemed to sharpen, deluding his senses, and focusing on the stone before him.

The stone darkened and soon enough, it was breached. Swarms of orcs pushed onwards, towards them and the armies before them. An army that seemed to be risen from the depths of hell itself was swarming the land, turning it into blackness of an impending doom that slowly, but steadily sharpened its face.

And he could feel it. The poison still lingered in his blood and a shadow in his mind. He could feel the pull of darkness and death.

Yet all he could still sense was only the rush of his own blood in his veins. There was no sound, no touch, no smell...

His dream from only hours past vividly played before his eyes, even if he tried his best to push it into the shadowy depths of where dreams belonged. But it was not a dream... It was so very real.

Their home, their Kingdom... Reclaimed so recent by the measure of earthly time, yet as far away as when talked of from the distance of the Blue Mountains. For home of so few days still did not feel as home, and enemy was moving as the Durin's Bane itself towards them, fierce and unforgiving.

He could not see his kinsmen from the Iron Hills rallying to Dain, nor the elves joining the fight in a manner that would be sung of in years to come. He could not hear Thranduil command his armies to protect the valley and the city, nor Bard the Dragonslayer leading the men towards Dale.

He was briefly aware of his brother calling their company on arms and Thorin stopping them. He was slightly aware of the twitch his warrior-heart felt in wish of joining the battle himself.

All his eyes saw was the Ravenhill. Mighty and tall it stood before him. Black stone covered in dust and snow.

And all his heart felt was a pull towards it.

* * *

_AN: Hi, my dear readers! I've finished this chapter a few days ago, but I couldn't upload it, don't know why :/_

_Anyway, I hope you liked it. I've gotten some really nice reviews since the last chapter and they always inspire me to write more._

_I've decided to focus entirely on Kili's perception and reaction to what was happening at that moment. There's so much left unsaid, but... I liked the idea of him somehow feeling the shadows approaching. I believe that Morgul poison cannot be entirely drawn out from the body, there's always a shadow remaining. Frodo's reaction to the Witch King of Angmar in front of Minas Morgul inspired me, the moment he said he could feel his blade... That's why i believe Kili would have also felt something, and of course, I've exaggerated it as much as I could have ;)_

_As for Legolas and Tauriel, I kinda liked that part of the chapter better, I have a feeling it's somewhat better written. First I wanted to write it all from Tauriel's perspective, but I just HAD to get a bit into his head as well. You've probably realized I love writing about feelings -.-_

_I hope you'll share your thoughts again! Feel free to tell me what you liked AND what you didn't like! And you can always PM me if you don't want to write in the comment section._

_As I've said before, I don't have the time to answer all your beautiful comments in person, so I'll just have to thank you this way._

_Thank you for reading! _

_Cheers!_


	10. Chapter 10 - Return of the King

_**Chapter 10 - Return of the King**_

His eyes were focused on the tall, dark stone before him. It was alluring, mesmerizing... He could almost hear its voice calling him closer, luring him in...

Naught was there but the dark stone, covered in ageless dirt and new snow. His grasp on the sword on his side tightened, but he could not feel it. He has lost the feeling of touch, of smell... he could neither hear nor see but that what captured him entirely.

He could not feel the rasp sensation of ever cooling air around him, for the winter had come, and with it snow and ice.

He could no longer feel his own heartbeat.

"Kili..."

A faint sound from far away mingled with the senses he no longer possessed. A faint, but somehow familiar voice was calling him, but he could not respond, for it was not real. There was naught but what laid before him, the dark alluring stone calling him... pulling him towards it...

"Kili!"

He lost his footing for another hand pulled on his. He turned and saw a face, a face so familiar and loved by himself he could not even believe he had not responded to his voice.

"Fili." He whispered.

His eyes slowly turned and saw there was none other but them, the two brothers. He returned his gaze onto his brother and saw deep worry and fear. But why would Fili fear? Why would his brother worry?

Then he realized, it was for him. How long had he been standing on the wall, mesmerized by something he could neither comprehend nor describe?

"Khâzash..." Fili's voice was soft and the caress Kili felt on his cheek brought him back to his childhood, to the times he was afraid beyond measure and his brother was there to comfort him and protect him.

But Kili feared not. He was not afraid. He was frozen in a place between consciousness and shadows, in an hour without time. What seemed to others as hours, to him had passed within a blink of an eye.

He allowed his brother to pull him closer and rest his forehead against his own. But when Fili met his little brother's eyes, what he saw there froze the very blood in his veins. The very heart in his chest.

He was looking at his little brother no more, but at a person he could no longer recognize.

Kili stood there, still taller than most and beardless by dwarven measure, but deep darkness bathed the depths of his eyes, deep darkness and something more...

Wisdom. Knowledge. A deep sorrow felt only by those who knew what awaited them.

And Fili, son of Dis, sister-son of Thorin Oakenshield,, had never been more frightened in his short life up until that moment.

Kili watched him back, and an unexplainable coldness rushed through his older brother, a coldness and despair he could not describe to his own self. He felt as if he was watching another person, not Kili, not his little brother that had always been a reckless idiot pulling them both into one trouble after another.

He felt as if he was looking into the eyes of one of the Eldar with the gift of fore-sight. He had heard of the great Kings and Queens of old, who were gifted with unearthly powers, praised amongst both the elves and dwarves, for in those days the earth was still young and no hatred flew between their people. Fili now stood and watched his brother whose dark eyes were shadowed by what he somehow knew was to happen.

Kili was tormented. And yet, he could not grasp the thought of why. He met his brother's tortured gaze, tortured gaze he himself was the reason of, and wanted nothing more but to offer him comfort. Yet, all he still felt was the pull of darkness. The pull of... death.

For he had seen the shadows... and he would always feel their call.

He took a deep breath and nodded to Fili. "Let's go, brother. Let us join our kin."

Without a word they both knew which kin Kili was referring to, for Thorin still dwelled in chambers filled with gold, oblivious to the death and ruin placed upon their kin on the other side of the wall.

They descended the stairs and were met by worried gazes of others who presumed Kili's heart had filled with fear when he saw the armies. Yet, once they placed their eyes upon him, shivers ran through them, for they too could feel the change in their young Prince.

Wordlessly, the brothers took their places one beside another on the stones before the wall. Kili looked around and deeper into the Mountain, into the chambers he knew were his by right. Yet, he felt the weight of a curse upon him, a curse he now knew would not let him be at peace.

Erebor... Their home, their Kingdom... A home of so few days had not felt like home yet, but he could feel the love from somewhere deep inside of him every time he laid his hand on stones surrounding him. He was a son of Durin. A Prince of Erebor.

And a sister-son to a King he no longer recognized. How could Thorin, a man of word and honour, forsake all that was holy to him? How could he forsake his own word, and even worse, his own kin? For even a man with no honour would never turn his back on his kin...

The doom was near, he could feel it. He knew not why he felt such a strong pull towards the black stone. He could not explain it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a faint whisper was calling his name, a faint, silent whisper in a language he spoke not, but still understood. He was being called there to die.

And if the hour came, he would go. He would follow his brother and his kin to whatever end.

He only wished he could have seen her one more time, before the end of all things. He only wished he could have held her in his arms and feel her lips on his, even for a moment, for then he would go on in peace. He would join his forefathers in the Halls of Mahal and he would be happy, for she would live on and cherish the memory of him until the end of days. Her heart would be broken, her soul shattered, but someday, in the long years of life before her, in the eternity that awaited her immortal soul, she would find another who would fill her soul with happiness.

And Kili would stand by her, invisible and voiceless, and love her nevertheless. For the love od a dwarf was binding forever, and his one would never truly walk alone. Nothing did he know of the torture his death would bring upon her. Nothing did he know of the fading of an elf into nothingness...

And one day, when the end of the world would come, when the song of the Ainur brought life back to the dead, he would see her again. And maybe then, if she would still have him, maybe then they could be together.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Fili sat near him and hugged him tightly. The despair and fear were still in his eyes, but he gazed upon his younger brother with something else. The deepest of love. The bond only brothers shared.

"Kili... What... What happened up there, I cannot explain. First I thought you were frightened, but... But I've never seen you like that. You paid no mind to the battle. Not even to what was happening around you..."

Kili remained silent, sensing there was more to come. And indeed, Fili sighed deeply and continued.

"Brother, I did not recognize you. When I looked into your eyes, I saw my brother no more, but a wise being with knowledge of what was to come."

Silence stretched and in that moment, Kili had to remove his eyes from his brother's.

"I cannot explain it." He whispered. "I... I feel it, Fili."

"What?"

"I do not know. I do not know, Fili. I feel it, the pull, the shadows... You cannot understand."

The grip around his shoulders tightened. "Try to explain. Share your burden, brother."

Kili sighed deeply. For a few moments he was silent. But then he spoke, and his voice was barely above whisper.

"Back in Lake-town, when I was drowning in the shadows..." He gasped. "I cannot explain it nor will you ask it of me, Fili. For that sorrow is none to bear but mine. I would never burden you with such despair, brother."

After a moment of silence, he continued. "When she came and healed me, she pulled me away from the grasp of darkness. Yet the shadows remained. Silent and invisible, they still dwelled in the back of my mind. And now..."

His eyes darkened again and Fili felt shivers down his spine, for the look in his brother's eyes was the same as on top of the wall.

"...And now I feel it again. I hear it. I sense it. I feel the darkness even though I cannot still see it. I fear it not, but I fear for the lives of others... I fear for you. For Thorin. For our kin here. For... For her."

Fili felt cold. Coldness spread through him like icy shivers down his spine. He knew no comfort in the form of words could he offer to his little brother, so he tightened the grip on his shoulders even more. Never would he wish to be parted from his brother, but in that hour, Fili swore to the great Forger himself and to all the great Valar, he would do all he could to save his brother. Even if it meant his own death.

"You know..." Fili started after long minutes of silence. "I have always wanted to come here, to reclaim our homeland. To be on Thorin's side when he laid his eyes on his long lost home. But I care not for the gold, Kili. I care not for the blasted Arkenstone, all the gems, mithril and crowns. I have always thought we would grow old here, Kili. Return to our rightful home and start our own families. Even if it meant my new sister would be an elf, of all things..." He smiled.

Kili looked up and Fili laughed at his little brother's confusion. "Yes, Kili. I have sworn to protect you and to help you. And I see her as my sister already, even if you're still not pledged to one another. And your children, which I am sure you will have lots of, I shall love as my own."

Bittersweet tears welled in Kili's eyes, for how could he even voice his fears now, how could he even speak to his brother of the certainty of death before them... How could he now, when his brother, his rock, his soul once again confirmed to be one of the greatest amongst those who ever lived.

One of those tears spilled and he smiled, looking into his brother's eyes full of love. "Fee..."

They understood one another without further words and their foreheads met in a sign of love only brothers could hold for each other.

Yet Kili could not be at peace, he could not sit still, for his warrior-heart was beating stronger by the minute. He wished to join the fight, to defend what was theirs. To slay the accursed Azog and his cursed spawns before they took another innocent life. His brother beside him was restless still, for he to, the Lion of Durin's Line, could no longer sit and do nothing. Not while their kin was dying upon orcish blades. Not while dead bodies of dwarf, man and elf filled the valley, covering its stone and earth with death worse than desolation left by the dragon.

But what were they to do? Their uncle was lost. Fili tried, oh he tried, countless of times. To reach him, to speak to him... Yet, all Thorin saw was his heir, not his nephew, and all he spoke of was gold and duty to their own. But their own were dying on the other side of the wall, and Thorin thought naught but how to protect that which was on the inside.

Gold. Beyond measure. Beyond grief and sorrow.

Gold beyond life. Worthy of all the blood that was being spilled for it.

Fili could not understand it. He was a Prince from the exile. Born and raised as a normal dwarfling, with a strong sense of duty and honour. Yet, what his uncle now saw as duty and honour was so much different from what he once had taught them.

The dwarf he knew and grew to love as a father was lost. Gone. And his heart was shattering in his chest. When he looked upon his brother once more, he felt even stronger a grief for Thorin was the only father his little brother had ever known.

_Mahal...Help us..._

Dwalin, who stood by Thorin always, could bear the silence no longer. He threw his axe on the floor, raising clouds of dust and dirt into the air. Wordlessly he walked deeper into the Mountain, towards there where Thorin dwelled, crazed by gold.

Fili and Kili, two young brothers, looked upon one another and a silent, wordless thought flew from one mind to another. It Thorin would not see reason, if the King Under the Mountain would not stand before his home and call his kin on arms to defend what was theirs, they would.

Young they were and inexperienced still, but Durin's own blood ran through their veins, and no sense of madness would ever turn them away from their duty.

Fili and Kili, sister-sons and heirs of Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain, would lead the army if he would not come to his senses.

They had to.

For nothing awaited them but death and ruin.

And even so, the very thought of going against Thorin in their loyal hearts felt like the worst of treasons. He raised them and loved them as his own sons, yet they could no longer tolerate the sickness overtaking him.

Thorin Oakenshield was a great dwarf, one of the greatest of their Line. For even in exile, even without their home and gold, he managed to build a life for his people, a life worthy of living. He built them a new home in the Blue Mountains and some even went as far as to say the quest for Erebor was not needed.

Thorin Oakenshield was their King, and King would he have been even without a Kingdom to claim, for he was a man of word and honour.

Yet now, he was a stranger even to his kin. Fili sat back to where he arose from, for his place was near his brother. They leaned onto one another and, as many times before, drew strength from one another. For strength they would need to whatever end this would lead.

Night had fallen and soon another Sun arose. And the sight none wished to see met their eyes nevertheless. Countless of orcs, swarms of the accursed creatures like forces from the depths of hell brought death and ruin to all who stood before them. Their kin was not far away, rallied to Dain in defence of Erebor.

Where was Thorin? Kili knew that was the question plaguing their kinsmen's minds. It was plaguing his, also, when he stood on top of the wall, looking into the distance. The city of Dale was burning, defeat was not far away. In that hour, he asked himself if the Dragonslayer still lived or had he too perished together with his family...

Yet still, hidden in the shadows and invisible to all who would look up, he could see the black stone of Ravenhill. And still, coldness spread throughout his entire being, for he could feel the call of the shadows...

Hurt he was, and enraged. For each and every cry of his kin before him, each and every drop of blood spilled against an orcish blade awoke a spark of anger in him. How could he, he who was to be in Line for the Throne of all the Seven tribes, linger in the shadows while his kin was dying?

How could they? For he could feel his brother's thoughts and they were the same as his own.

He descended the stairs and joined the others. Fili turned his back to all else, grieving what was to come in silence. For they knew no other choice could ever be before them but to betray their King and uncle and go to battle.

Kili almost chuckled, for he could perfectly imagine Thorin he knew and loved yelling from the top of his lungs at him and Fili for not charging out sooner, even if he knew they would disobey his own self.

Thorin Oakenshield, their uncle, their... father, would understand. And one day, if he were to cast away the sickness that overtook him, one day he would cherish the memory of two young dwarves who had given their lives in his stead, and had done so honourably.

Still he sat on the stone, alone with his thoughts. And in the hours to come, he knew nothing but battle would be on his mind.

So he cherished the last moments of peace and solitude thinking of her. _Oh, Tauriel, amrâlimê... If you could see me now... If you could see how desperate I am for you..._

The future he once hoped for was now lost.

Never would there be a great fight between him and Thorin when his younger nephew informed him of his love for an elf. Never would there be any threats of disowning or banishment.

Never would there be a wedding between a dwarf and an elf. Thorin would eventually see reason and bless their union, for he loved his nephews greatly and owed Tauriel their lives. But that future was never to come.

Never would he take her to their chambers and worship her body. Show her just how precious and beautiful she was to him. Never would he see her pregnant with his child. Never would he hold the blessing of their union in his arms or craft a name for his son or daughter while feeling their heartbeat under his fingers.

_Amrâlimê..._

He raised his head and met Fili's gaze, not surprised to see a lone tear grazing his cheek. His brother too felt his thoughts and joined him in his bittersweet sorrow.

Another hour has passed before Thorin faced them. And the sheer sight of him boiled Kili's blood. Unexplainable rage and anger towards his uncle seemed to burn its way throughout his body until it came to his tongue.

"I will not hide... behind a wall of stone while OTHERS fight OUR BATTLES FOR US!"

He yelled with all his being. He saw red. Fire was in his blood, burning him, desperate for release. Others around him stood in shocked silence, for never had they seen the young, reckless Prince behaving in such manner. Hot-head and fast on words and deeds he was, but this...

Yet all Kili could see was Thorin. His graceful steps through stone and dirt. His unreadable face.

"It is not in my blood, Thorin!" He finished somewhat calmer, but not for the subsiding rage that still boiled his insides. Tears welled in his eyes, tears of anger and disappointment.

Then Thorin came closer to him and their eyes met. And Kili could hold his tears no more for he was looking into his uncle's eyes, his eyes free of darkness and sickness... Without further word, he knew Thorin was back. His uncle was back. His loving uncle... His King...

"No... It is not." Thorin's deep voice was barely above whisper, yet all could hear it in the silence surrounding them.

"We are sons of Durin. And Durin's Folk do not flee from a fight."

Kili's lips stretched and he smiled through his tears. His Uncle lovingly brought his head closer and touched his forehead to his. And in it, there was all he could not say.

_I am sorry... I am so sorry, Kili... I am sorry... I have failed you..._

But when Thorin Oakenshield met his nephew's eyes once more, he saw that his unsaid words were acknowledged and his foul deeds forgiven. All he saw was love, awe and something only a father and son could share, for Thorin loved him as his own, and Kili cherished their bond no less.

Then he turned to the rest of them and nodded to Fili, who was standing on the pile of stones looking the very Prince he was supposed to be, his head held high and his eyes warm with pride and love. Thorin approached him and pressed his forehead against his heir's. Fili grasped his shoulder and nodded, whispering to his uncle that they all would follow him to whatever end.

Then Thorin turned back and faced them all. His companions, the only ones who answered when he called upon them. And once again, he knew he would rather have them by his side that all the armies Dain could ever bring from the Iron Hills.

"I have no right to ask this any of you... But will you follow me one last time?"

No words would ever be worthy to describe what each and every one of them felt at that moment. No words could describe the depth of emotions swarming their beings when they rallied to their King and their Princes on his sides.

The Horn of Erebor was heard miles away, its sharp cry stopping both enemy and allies in their tracks. The wall shattered and there they came. Sons of Durin in their prime.

Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain, with both Fili and Kili on his sides, leading an army that rallied to their King.

And in the years to come, tales would be told how orcs backed away in fear as Thorin lead the charge.

"Du Bekâr!"

* * *

_AN: Here we have it, at laaaaast! Thorin free from dragon sickness! And I couldn't get Bilbo's sentence out of my head while writing this ("I believe the worst is behind us"-well, shite, Mr Boggins, it is not)._

_I was really in doubt about this chapter because I wanted to follow the actual story line as closely as possible, but also focus on Kili mostly... It was difficult to write this, because I can't bring myself to kill my beloved Durins... But they do not have to die, at least not in a way._

_I know some of you still hope they'll all survive, but I'll shatter your hopes right away and just say it - they won't. BUT! But! It will not be the end. The beautiful mind of our dearest Professor Tolkien crafted wonders, and I've already decided their deaths would not be the end of my story..._

_So please, please, please, don't stop reading because you'll be happy in the end, I promise. The end is written already, so I know it for sure, I just have to write what comes in between. (yup, the denial is strong with this one)_

_Anyway, here I am, babbling about future... I'd like to hear your thoughts on THIS chapter, what you feel, what you think... like it? hate it? never read again?_

_Thank you for reading and following!_

_Cheers, loves!_

_PS. I'm bedridden, and I mean it quite literally (back injury), so I've a lot of free time on my hands... Updates may come a bit sooner (depending on your reviews, I've said already they inspire me), and I've also started a new story, modern Kiliel AU named In Another Life. The first chapter is already posted, and it would make me immensely happy if you checked it out! Cause I obviously can't cope with the deaths of my beloved Durins and I decided to give them an alternate life =) Also, mywriting style is totally different in that story, not sth you'd expect of me, so read and review, please!_


	11. Chapter 11-The Battle of the Five Armies

_**Chapter 11 – The Battle of the Five Armies**_

The red Sun rose over the valley, but its shine fell upon the blackened land. Valley was filled with dead orcs who fell that day, slain by swords and axes of the Sons of Durin, their black blood staining the already desolated earth like poison.

Thorin's voice echoed throughout the valley.

"Du Bekar!"

His own voice sent fear to his enemies, freezing their blood as the King of Durin's Folk led an army of dwarves towards them. The dwarves rallied to their King, their hearts filled with joy and honour for their King he was, and what a King! None could escape the wrath of his sword, none could step a foot closer to his Kingdom, none could even hope to harm his beloved sister-sons, fighting on each side of him.

The true Line of Durin, the royal sons of all dwarves, led the charge as one. The King and his heirs, three bodies led by one mind, by one soul.

Countless foes fell that day upon their swords and the very wrath of Durin the Deathless himself could be felt in the air, for the sons of his Line marched against the enemy ascended from darkness.

In the midst of the battle, Fili and Kili found themselves surrounded by their kin from the Iron Hills, their kin who would stop at nothing to protect their royal heirs, their bellowed sons. Yet still their swords drew blood of countless of orcs, sending fear deep into the enemy's lines.

Even in the city of Dale, where a battle was still fierce, the wrath of the Durins could be felt. And even after all that had happened between Thorin and the men of Lake-town, the presence of the dwarven King on the battlefield filled the hearts of men with hope and aimed their swords towards the legions of orcs.

Fili and Kili, so often called the Lion and the Wolf of Durin's Line, now fought with bravery and honour rarely seen even amongst the mightiest of warriors. Their youth and strength led their kin forward, towards the enemy. Tales would be told and songs would be sung in the years and ages to come of the great Sons of the Durin's Line.

But the number of orcs was great and when one fell, another soon took his place. Kili wielded his sword with efficiency, as if it was a part of his arm. Orc after orc fell, but naught would stop him in his defence of his kin and King.

Fili was on his side, a true Lion, merciless and brave, wielding his swords and slayings all who dared to face him.

The two brothers stood around their King and uncle, for they would defend him with shield and body. He was their mother's older brother, their beloved uncle and the only father they had. He had raised them and loved them as his own sons, so they would gladly give their lives for him.

When they ventured into the unknown, at the very beginning of the quest of Erebor, Kili wished nothing more but to prove his worth in battle, to make a name for himself. To finally become who he was born to be. A Prince of the Line of Durin.

Yet now, slaying orcs and orcs, foes beyond count, he felt as if he had always been the same. As if he had spent his entire life trying to prove what already was known.

He was a fighter. A warrior. A Wolf.

And the honour Thorin placed upon him, the honour of standing on the side of his King and his brother in the battle, the honour of leading the charge of all dwarves... was so overwhelming.

His heart leapt with unimaginable joy. His sword danced in a dance of death and wrath.

The Kingdom finally had a King. The dwarves finally had a home. The Home. And there was nothing Kili would not do to ensure its security and prosperity.

Long had he doubted himself. Long had he questioned his worth.

Tall, beardless dwarf. Archer. Prince without a Kingdom or a Throne. A boy without a father.

Yet now, he felt it. The strong bond to his kin. The deep love for the Mountain. The Durin's blood in his veins.

And indeed, far beyond the battlefield, beyond death, pain and sorrow, Durin the Deathless cried with joy and pride in the Halls of Mahal. And Aule, the Forger himself, he whom they called Mahal, stood beside him and shared his joy, praising Iluvatar's word. For in his word, all the light was born, even the light of the children he alone had made and claimed as his own.

Great Mahal forged his children from fire and stone to endure all the evil that was yet to come. And in the hour of battle, in the hour of judgement, his children stood as one, led by the greatest of his Sons.

Iluvatar's own heart filled with joy. For the evil had returned, and once more it was seen that the unlikeliest of creatures could control the force of goodness beyond measure and beyond doubt. The little Halfling, his child, alongside the Firstborns, Men and Dwarves, his chosen children and his adopted ones, would once again win against the powers of evil.

Yet, his sight reached further than those of others... And he knew each victory came with a price...

Thorin and Dain, two cousins, met on the first line of battle. Surrounded they were by their kinsmen and allowed a moment of rest. Their foreheads met in no time, followed by smiles and unspoken gratitude from one to another. From one, gratitude for the much needed air in the hour of need. From the other, gratitude for the honour of being called to his King after he had once forsaken him.

The battle raged. Men, elves and dwarves tirelessly stood against countless of foes, defending the little they had left.

After centuries of hatred, Thorin's chest swelled with pride when the word reached him of elves and dwarves fighting together. He was still a young dwarfling, a mere child, when the two peoples lived in friendship.

He vowed to himself and to the great Forger, he would see those days again. He would give Thranduil those blasted gems if he wanted them so much. He would help Bard and the people of Lake-town, for shame and disgust towards his own self filled his heart, for he had given his word and he had broken it.

Now he stood amongst his companions. His friends and his kin. Free of the darkness that had clouded his mind for long, for too long...

Honour. Courage. A willing heart. That was all he could have ever hoped for in his companions, and yet he was given even more.

He looked upon his sister-sons, his beloved sons and best warriors, and he made another vow. A last vow.

He would end this.

He would end this now.

No more would Azog the Defiler endanger his people. His Line. His family.

His gaze met the Ravenhill where the accursed filth stood, leading his armies from the distance, for long ago had he learned that facing an enemy in person could bring one onto his knees. A coward. A filthy worm that needed to be slain and returned to the dirt he had ascended from.

Dwalin was at his side, end when their eyes met, they nodded to each other in wordless understanding. It had to end. It had to end now.

In no time, they were joined by Fili and Kili. Rams were soon provided and they mounted them. With last words, Thorin parted from his cousin, entrusting him entirely with the defence of his Kingdom. His fierce gaze froze Dain in spot and his words nearly brought him to his knees, for that who spoke was a true leader and a true King.

"I am going to end this. I am going to kill that filth."

They charged forward, slaying all that stood near, but even the orcs backed away from the four dwarves.

Dwalin's shout further scared them, but brought encouragement to his kin.

"Lead us!"

They ascended the Ravenhill, slaying all that dared to stand against them, and once at the top, the victory was near. Fili and Kili worked in unison, synchronized like only those of the same blood could be. Their sword danced and when their eyes met, for they were mostly guarding each other's back, they smiled warmly.

_Truly._ Kili thought. _There is no place I would rather be. I belong with my brother._

Thorin and Dwalin worked in unison practiced throughout their long lives. The very sight of them brought fear to the enemies' eyes, and Kili could swear, at least one orc simply dropped dead when Dwalin glared at it.

Soon, the Ravenhill was cleared. Its black stone covered in dead orc bodies. Fresh piles of snow now laid there tainted with black poison of orcish blood.

Yet Azog the Defiler was nowhere to be seen. Not amongst the living. Not amongst the dead.

The battle was raging beneath them, yet they were surrounded by silence. Naught could be heard, except for the song of cold winter wind.

When the fire in his blood cooled, Kili took in what was around him. A strange, yet so familiar sensation tingled over his skin, starting at the tips of his fingers and eventually reaching his heart.

His breath laboured. This was it. The Ravenhill. The same black stone that had been calling his name.

The same air that had sung to him from afar.

_Kili..._

He heard his name, yet this time he knew it had not come from his brother. It was a sound so faint, so alluring, just like the shadows in his mind from where it was coming.

The air was cold and heavy with fog, but something else was there. Dread filled him once more, for something was moving in shadows, unseen.

He could feel his brother tense near him, for dread filled him too. Their uncle's eyes confirmed their thoughts, for the same ones were on his mind.

Azog would not flee from a battle. He had sworn to end the Line of Durin. To kill them all, to the very last of them.

And here they were. Three direct descendants of Durin the Deathless, offered to him like a treat on a feast.

Thorin's heart halted. His mind raced back. Years back. He remembered his father's words before the Walls of Moria. The great Battle of Azanulbizar was nearly lost and heavy defeat was upon them when Thrain, son of Thror, led the charge. But before it, he had placed a hand on his son's chest.

He did not let him follow. He did not lead him at death's door. He had ensured his son and heir would stay behind, safe to carry on the Line if the worst was to come.

And there stood Thorin, son of Thrain, before the same enemy of old, with both his sister-sons and heirs on each of his sides. His blood froze for he could not believe his own stupidity.

In the hour of decision, he had sought for his best warriors. And his sister-sons were the best of them, for he had trained them. Yet, little had he thought of the possibility of death of all of them.

The thought of losing either one of them... The thought of Fili or Kili...

No.

Azog was his.

He would kill the filth alone and end this once and for all.

He grasped Fili's shoulder.

"Take your brother." His eyes met Kili's and he nodded. "Search the lower levels. Report back and do NOT engage."

His grip on his nephew's shoulder tightened and he could only hope his sister-sons could see the strong plea his eyes were sending them.

_Stay safe. Stay safe, my boys..._

Fili, the Lion he was, rose to his full height and nodded. Thorin gripped his shoulder once more and then grasped Kili's arm as well.

They would go away and be safe.

He would spare their lives and kill the filth alone.

If he survived, they would have certainly killed him themselves, but it did not matter. All that mattered were their lives and their safety.

Azog would soon come. He would not cast away an opportunity offered so freely. The filth would come and he would kill him. Or die trying.

And whence he came, his nephews would be away. No harm would come to them.

His thoughts returned to the one cold night in Ered Luin. The night his sister forced him to swear on Durin's Hammer that he would keep her sons safe. That he would look out for them.

A small smile tugged the corners of his lips.

_Yes, Dis. My dearest sister. They will come back to you._

* * *

_AN: Hi, my dear readers and followers! I wrote this chapter a few days ago, but I've kept rewriting some bits and pieces because I just wasn't satisfied. Honestly, I'm still not and I do believe I could've done a better job, but my medicine's making me drowsy so there's really no point in trying. _

_Anywaaay...I wanted to show Thorin a bit closer here and I hope you like how I've handled their parting. The scene with Thrain kept coming to my mind so I had to include it. _

_What's important-these scenes are very hard for me to write. I still can't quite deal with their deaths, so I get all emotional and ughh... That's why I've started my other fic and I simply focus on it when this death, pain and sorrow becomes too great to deal with. (Check it out! A bit of self-promo :P)_

_Please please please leave reviews! I'm very interested in your thoughts on all of this? Love it? Hate it? Hate me? :0 _

_I hope I'll be able to write again soon. Like, very soon!_

_Thanks for reading and share your thoughts with me!_

_Cheers!_


	12. Chapter 12 - All Shall Fade

_**Chapter 12 - All Shall Fade...**_

Something was not right.

Ever since he parted ways with his brother, the look in Fili's eyes had been haunting him. He... He looked as sure and proud as ever, but there was something more. A sense of closure. Assurance. At that moment, Kili was convinced his brother was sure they would put an end to Azog's existence. But...

But... _Something was not right._

With every step he took, the dull ache in his chest grew. He could not explain it, but he knew there was something more to it. Ever since he left his brother's side, he had felt as if a part of him was missing. Regret. Regret was filling his insides with a dullness that was slowly spreading across his mind and body.

Why have they parted? They should not have.

Not in a situation like that.

The sworn enemy of their bloodline was hiding somewhere in those stone halls, and the two Durins weren't together.

Could it be fear? Yes, Kili was afraid. Afraid beyond measure. But he had learned a long time ago that bravery did not mean the absence of fear. Bravery meant being afraid, but facing one's fears nevertheless. He was a son of Durin. He would not step aside and let others solve his problems. And Azog the Defiler was his problem.

But Fili? Fili could take care of himself, Mahal knows he had to take care of himself and his little brother more times than Kili could count. He would be safe, for he was the smarter one. Not as reckless as the younger dwarf.

Maybe that's why he had sent him onto a safer path.

Kili suddenly stopped walking. He gasped, his eyes widening. His sword hung loosely from his limp hand. If an orc stumbled upon him, the young dwarf would probably not have notice it at all.

_Safer path..._

He was in the lower levels. He could see the end of the hall before him. The pale winter light was breaking the darkness and calling him out.

But Fili... Fili went to search the upper levels. And if Azog would be hiding anywhere... It would be in the upper levels. Where his command had been, anyway. They presumed Azog and his spawnd had left, but...

_Mahal..._

The realization hit him suddenly and it hit him hard.

_This is a trap..._

He filled his lungs with air and each fibre of his chest ached like it was burnt by fire. Fili... Fili was walking directly into a trap. And he knew it. _He knew_.

Kili felt it. He _knew_ it. His brother sent him away and walked directly into a trap. Alone. To spare him. To save him.

No.

No.

Fili.

No.

His brother had been taking care of him for as long as he could remember. He took his first steps towards him. He uttered his first word to him. He braided his first braid into his blond hair.

He gasped. The cold sweat was suddenly covering his face and his back, making him shudder under the cold winter breeze.

No.

Thorin and safety be damned. He had to return. His brother was there, alone... He might still have enough time...

But soon as he harshly turned around and took a step back into the darkness, he heard it.

Drums.

Drums in the deep.

And orcs.

Somewhere high above him, many footsteps and voices echoed through the stone, but the sounds grew clearer and louder by the minute. And they were coming from the outside.

He slowly approached the end of the hall and stepped into the light. And that is when he heard him.

Azog's voice. The orc was saying words in Black Speech, yet each and every one of them carved itself into his mind. He could not understand them, but he could _feel_ the meaning behind them.

He raised his eyes and saw Thorin, Dwalin and Bilbo.

But as soon as he saw his uncle, he knew. Thorin was frozen. Broken. Lost... Even from a distance, he could see the tears gathering in his eyes, glimmering under the pale light...

Or were those tears his own?

Fili...

His brother's voice carved itself into his flesh, his mind... Screaming at Thorin. To run. To go away. To save himself...

A faint memory itched somewhere in the back of his mind. His brother has always thought of others before himself. He always cared for the wellbeing of their family and friends. He worshipped the values of their sacred bloodline and Kili knew he would gladly give his life for it. For he would as well, yet he would never be as noble and royal as his brother.

Fili still was an Heir, but he already was a King.

No...

Silence.

Naught could be heard, except for the wind.

Time stopped. Every moment, every beat of his heart felt as long as a lifetime.

Kili could not move. He could not think...

When his brother's body fell onto the ground before his feet...

He jumped. His back met the same dark stone that had been haunting his dreams and calling him closer... The same stone whose silent whisper he had heard calling his name... To come... To die...

He knew his brother was dying there, above him, but he could not come to his aid. He would have gladly given his life to save him. The better of the two of them. He could not live without his brother.

Yet, he could not think.

He could not breathe.

His brother's eyes were staring back at him, yet empty of life and mirth... those were not his brother's eyes, but a pair of glassy orbs, forever staring into the skies and seeing naught but darkness.

He could not move.

He could not breathe.

He could not think.

Fili...

No...

His older brother. His protector. His brother and father, for he had proven to be just that for so many times. He could not tear his eyes away from his. From the trail of blood descending down his forehead. From the ever growing vermillion pool surrounding him, engulfing him and taking him even further away than he already was.

No...

He belonged with his brother. There was no place else he would rather be. He would not give away their time together, their life together for nothing... Not even for Tauriel.

He was his brother. He _is_ his brother.

His brother. His captain. His King...

He would have followed him anywhere. To the darkest depths of Moria. To the darkest edges of Arda. To the darkness and fires of Mordor.

He would have faced the very whip of Durin's Bane for him. He would have faced Morgoth himself.

Yet, he could not have stopped the accursed orc from taking his brother away from him. A simple, ordinary filth of an orc.

His brother recognized the horror he was about to face and he sent him away, facing death gladly with hands spread wide. He had ensured his family's safety by sacrificing himself.

And Kili... Kili was too slow and too late. He was too late to grasp the reality of what his brother had realized what now seemed like eons ago. He was too slow to reach him, to aid him... to save him... or to die trying...

He fell into Fili's trap as easily as Fili faced the trap Azog laid before them.

His brother betrayed him. For he was safe and unharmed, while Fili was... while Fili...

While Fili was dead.

No...

He inhaled deeply. Every ounce of air spreading through his lungs felt like a wave of life force itself.

No...

He failed. There was only one thing he had aspired to in his life. Only one thing he desired to be. And that dwarf could not, _would not_ exist without his older brother.

No...

He could feel his heart doubling its efforts, sending the boiling blood in hot waves through his veins, burning its way through his body and setting him on fire.

No...

He could feel the pounding in his eyes, he could hear the drumming in his ears.

He felt betrayed.

Abandoned.

Unworthy.

Useless.

And furious.

Angry beyond measure. Beyond words. Beyond thought.

No...

It was a trap. His brother gave his life to save his. Yet...

Fili failed to realize.

There was no life for his brother without him.

No warmth. No light. No sense.

No...

The grasp on his sword tightened. The pressure in his chest increased.

Pain... It was so painful.

Too painful...

It was unbearable.

He felt the pressure building up inside of him until the very verge of his sanity. And then he gave into it.

A moan escaped his lips, a sound that belonged more to a wild animal than to a living dwarf.

He leaped onto his feet and started running.

His vision was darkened. His skin was burning.

All he wanted, all he needed to do was to kill. To destroy. To take lives of those who took away his brother.

The snow piled on the stone raised in small clouds around his running feet as he ascended the stairs. The first orc he faced was twice his size, yet he killed it with a simple swing of his sword. The other was even bigger, but Kili extinguished the accursed light in his eyes in a matter of seconds.

More and more came, yet some feared to fight the younger Heir of Durin. The now sole remaining Heir of Thorin Oakenshield...

For all who faced his wrath fell.

And on that day, in that moment and in those that would come, Kili, son of Dis, sister-son of Thorin Oakenshield of the Line of Durin, showed his worth.

He showed to be the true son of his bloodline, the true Prince of his House.

The dwarf worthy of the crown.

And far far beyond, over the Lonely Mountain, over the clouds and skies of heavens, his older brother was watching.

_One day you will be King. And you will understand._

And he was proud. For he now understood. And so did his younger brother.

The true courage was not in war. Not in killing and fighting.

True courage lied in sacrifice. And those who gave their lives to save their loved ones were the ones who would truly be worthy of glory.

* * *

_AN: My dearest followers and readers, I AM SO SORRY for the longest of delays! I would have updated sooner, but I've been facing some personal problems and my laptop died in the meantime! As soon as I was able to write again, my classes started and I just couldn't find the time..._

_Yet, I finally managed to start writing a few days back and I just could not write this chapter! I wrote it and re-wrote it a couple of times, but I simply could not get satisfied. And I'm still not satisfied. _

_I wanted to play at Kili's conflicted emotions, on his internal battles at that moment, but somewhere along the path I realized there would not be an internal battle. Kili, being our fave reckless dwarf, would simply stop thinking and he would let his grief and rage completely consume him. He would not fall onto his knees and sob over his brother's dead body. He would, if the situation was any different. _

_And I didn't want to write their parting. I just didn't want to. I want to completely focus on his reaction and feelings. I'm sorry if you've been looking forward to that part, but I wrote it in one of the takes and just couldn't get over it. _

_I hope you like it. You can see my writing style changed a bit solely in this chapter, because I was trying to keep up the dynamic with both words and style. The chapter is also shorter._

_**And please please please review! **I'm really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this, tell me if I've disappointed you (because I fear I will) and tell me how this chapter affected you._

_And I need those reviews simply for the reason of knowing how many of you are still here with me =)_

_Your thoughts always inspire me and if you liked this chapter, or didn't like it but want more of this nevertheless, I will try to update in a few days. It's up to you guys!_

_Thank you once again!_


	13. Chapter 13 – From the Depth of Heart

_**Chapter 13 – From the Depth of Heart**_

The valley beneath the Lonely Mountain before them were swarming with orcs. An army, mightier and greater than any Tauriel had ever seen. The great Kingdom of dwarves and the city of men were surrounded, fighting back, but yet losing. For the orcs were too many...

Yet, she stiffened and felt her friend before her do as much when a thought of another army of the same size came to their minds. Another army marching from Gundabad.

They would be overrun. For even the mightiest of armies could be outnumbered, only if the number of the enemy was far beyond measure.

And Azog had a share of filthy lives to spare...

Legolas urged the horse to carry them faster towards what seemed like inevitable doom. But she welcomed the thought, for she could not bear standing idly by while others spilled their blood before her eyes.

Elves, men, dwarves... all were fighting as one. The deepest of feuds between the races were set aside, for the need to conquer the common enemy had joined them, united them.

The brave animal beneath them was hurrying across earth, snow and stone, approaching the ruins of a wall that used to guard the ancient city from foes. Now it lied shattered, its stones scattered over the ground, and the swarms of orcs were pouring through the hole like blood from an open wound.

Yet a gap formed, a gap in between the stone and the black army. A gap opened by men, brave men of Lake town, led by Bard! Tauriel recognized him and wordlessly thanked the Valar for sparing his life so far. He was a natural leader, a simple man whose destiny was to become greater. To lead. To fight. So fight he did.

_A Elbereth Gilthoniel, the hearts of men!_

The men pushed the orcs further away and Legolas used the widened gap behind the ranks to slip their horse into the city.

The stench of death and pain was bathing the air around them, leaving a promise of demise. Tauriel's eyes flickered through the shattered ruins, her ears ringing with the voices of men, shouts of both courage and fear, cries of death...

So many had fallen... So, so many... Too many...

The thin layer of once soft snow was tainted with black and red. With poison pouring from orcish wounds and vermillion blood of those of her own race... So many had fallen. Her heart ached with a pain so ancient, only an immortal could truly grasp it. For the death was not only taking its prey on the battlefield... those who remained would soon feel its call. Husbands and wives, children and parents... How many more shall fade away? Linger in the shadows like an empty shell until the many days of their lives are spent and the Light of the Eldar diminishes in their eyes... How many more must die of pain and suffering?

Her warrior heart and brave soul rebelled against those thoughts, wishing naught else than to offer the sacrifice of her own blood to spare the others, to stop the foes.

They had to win. They had to fight before it was too late. They had to win before the other army came and crushed them.

Their horse approached a tall figure in grey robes, wielding a long sword with the strength of a young man. Yet old he was. Old, so very old... Tauriel suddenly felt like a child under his probing gaze, for his eyes seemed to penetrate her soul and read her every thought.

The man greeted Legolas, and her friend answered knowingly. Once again she met those probing eyes and lowered her gaze, for she suddenly knew who the man was. And a man he was not.

Mithrandir. The Grey Pilgrim. One of the Istari.

Her head lowered on its own, for the honour of meeting the one so wise and powerful awoken awe deep within her. His Maiar spirit burned like fire in his eyes...

Her Prince talked to him, but she, she looked around, taking her surroundings in, thinking, calculating... She could not escape centuries of service as a Captain, even if her heart ached for her love and pulled her towards him, she had to think clearly and put her blades to good use. For one she knew – she would rather die than let those poor humans, dwarves and those of her own race suffer alone under black swords of such cursed creatures.

The wall was almost breached, Bard and his men were slowly retreating before the outrageous numbers of orcs, but the bravery of the hearts of men was unparalleled. And soon enough, her eyes met the small but fierce company of armed women who decided to join their men in battle. Really, courage came in all forms, and Tauriel felt pride and awe deep within.

Thranduil's forces were fighting on the other side of the city, battling the ever growing numbers of orcs. Her heart ached when she thought of those who had already fallen, and those who would still. If the main square was breached, the city would surely be overrun. Only if her and Legolas could join the fight and add their strength to the force...

Yet the Wise One drew her attention. Another creature stood near, a being of a sort she had never seen before. He looked like a man, yet he was as tall as a human child. More like a dwarf, but not as sturdy. A true wonder would occupy her mind if the short man did not spoke. Instead, she was filled with horror.

The dwarves were on the Ravenhill, a point she and her Prince had before determined would serve as an entrance to another army. And... And he was there. They all were. Thorin and his heirs. All three heirs of Durin.

They walked straight into a trap.

A trap with no way out. They would die. They would surely die.

No.

No. It...

It was unbearable.

No.

Fili, the strong heir, the future king... So kind and full of love for his family...

Thorin, the uncle his nephews adored beyond measure and the King of dwarves...

And...

And he. Kili...

No.

If this is to end in death... they would all die together. For Tauriel suddenly knew where her place was.

And it was not beside her King, her Prince and lifelong friend... It was beside her love.

For Kili had given so much for his family, he had endured pain, grief, disappointment, abandonment and even faced darkness far worse than death. It was not right that such a brave and young person so full of life and love should lose everything so soon... Too soon.

He had so much more to see, to receive and to give. And he had... He had her. For she knew, she would breach every obstacle before her, se would shatter every barrier just to be with him. A future with him... It was worth everything. And Tauriel was not going to let it slip away...

It was not right, simply not right, that the dwarven company would finally reclaim their beloved homeland only to watch it slip from their fingers... Or to watch their King and heirs die...

No.

She would not, she could not let that happen. She was far too insignificant in the great plans of Eru, but, A Elbereth, they were not. The Line of Durin would not be severed before her eyes.

She would not see her love dead.

She would not see his people homeless and leaderless again. The dwarves had suffered so much...

She had to reach Ravenhill in time. She had to warn them. To drag them back if needed. If only she could reach them in time...

Just as she had found her resolution, she heard it. The elven horn. Calling for retreat...

It was not possible. It was simply not possible.

Has Thranduil gone mad?

Her breath laboured and her heart sped.

When did she walk away from Legolas and Mithrandir? How did she manage to reach her King and take her stand before him?

No, she could not remember it, she could not recall the steps she had made nor the path she had taken. All she saw was Thranduil approaching her, slowly but with resolution in his old wise eyes.

Her King... Yet not her King. He had banished her for disobeying her orders. For helping those in need when he had refused to. How could he just leave? How could he just go and leave these people to death and misery? How could he...

Her hands moved before her mind gave a command. Her body worked before her, already knowing her true feelings before her brain even processed the matters that were so deeply hurting her...

It was not the elven way. It was not their way to retreat and leave people of lesser skill and abilities to defend themselves against an enemy they all had in common. What did he, the King, think? That he could lock himself and his High Sindar elves into his forsaken palace and wait there for what? For the return of Evil in all shapes and forms that would desecrate the lands of Arda, yet leave Eryn Lasgalen in peace?

How could he be so blind? So selfish? So loveless?

Her fingers were grasping the arrow tightly, ready to send it on a path towards his cold, dead heart without a second thought. There he was, standing before her with naught but hatred in his eyes, reminding her of her insignificance in the greater plans. Reminding her that all mortals are lesser than he.

How could a person gifted with the Light of Eldar even think such cruel thoughts?

"There is no love in you." Her voice shivered. But with anger, with rage, not with uncertainty.

Something in his eyes shattered and rage poured out of him like flames from open fire. His blade flashed before her and suddenly... her bow was naught more than pieces of chopped wood.

"What do you know of love? Nothing. What you feel for that dwarf is not real. You think it is love? Are you ready to die for it?"

The tip of his blade came dangerously close to her throat. She could feel the coolness of steel against her skin, but she would not falter. For she knew it was real and she was ready to die for it. No more than minutes before she had decided either to leave this battlefield with Kili and his family on her side or to rest on it for all the days to come.

There was no more, really. For her heart had decided before, her heart had chosen a path for her and she would follow it willingly and wholeheartedly.

He was her One. The other part of her immortal soul, which would never be whole without him near.

There was no life without him. There was no future without him. For as long as he would live, so would she. And when the life in his eyes ceased, the light of her soul would diminish. And she would fade into the greyness of shadows. Into eternity without him. Waiting patiently for the ending of Arda when Eru himself would raise all who had fallen... and she would meet her love again.

She could not say she was ready to die for her love because there was no choice for her. Without her love, she would cease to exist.

So she raised her lowly Silvan chin proudly and offered her throat to the King, may he slice it if he wished.

But Legolas came. Lowered his own father's sword and told him there would be no killing her without hurting him before. Love spoke from deep within him, even though he had buried it for her sake, for he had felt she would never return his feelings.

Thranduil's eyes widened, yet he would not raise a sword at his own son. Legolas turned towards her, offering to accompany her in pursuit of Thorin Oakenshield's company. Even though it hurt him. Her devotion and the depth of her emotions hurt him visibly. But still, her friend stood proudly beside her, offering his help as ever before.

With a grateful nod but so much more left unspoken, she walked away from her former King and commander towards the unknown.

* * *

_**AN**: Cheers, my dear readers! It is I, your sorry excuse for a writer. I'm so sorry for another lenghty absence. I honestly and literally suck._

_I've had so much on my mind for months now and I couldn't possibly spare the time for writing. And again, even with some free time on my hands, I couldn't write. I know where I'm going with this story, but it still confuses me a bit when pov is discussed. I wanted to write all of the rest from Kili's point of view, but it really felt as an injustice towards Tauriel. I wanted to show the depth of emotions one elf would feel in a situation like this one. _

_Some of you might think I'm turning her into a Mary Sue of sorts, but I assure you, that's not my intention. She's a strong female character, but she's also an elf. And I take it that elves appear cold and guarded only because their emotions are so much deeper and comsuming. Elves really can fade if they lose their loved ones. And I don't think of it as a sign of weakness, so don't go all feminist on me. :D_

_There will be surprises from Tauriel in the chapters to come, cause as the next few will still follow the actual storyline (perhaps a bit changed), those after that will reflect my thoughts on Tauriel's life after the Battle. Whooooops I'm telling you waaaay too much! _

_As always, it would be really helpful if you left a review! Share your thoughts and emotions with me! (that is, if anyone's still reading this)_

_Next chapter will be up somewhere at the beginning of next week. Might even write it over the weekend :D_

_Thank you for reading and for all those lovely reviews!_

_Cheers! _


	14. Chapter 14 - The Passing

_**Chapter 14 - The Passing**_

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

How many times already?

How many times more?

His muscles were sore and his breath short, yet naught could he feel nor think of. For the pain was overwhelming. The pain and...

Emptiness.

An empty void was burning in his chest. As a hole left after ripping one's heart out, leaving the hot blood dripping from the open wound, filling his lungs, suffocating him.

An ever bleeding wound.

No.

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

How many times already?

How many times more?

It didn't matter. It hurt so much. _So_ much. Too much.

He... He wasn't trying to ease the pain. He was not trying to drown his grief in orc blood. He...

He was not trying to live.

Did he want to live? Does he want to die?

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

Fili...

How? How could he live without him? Without his brother? Without himself? For without Fili he felt incomplete. Damaged. Ripped apart.

His brother was his everything. And he would not have it any other way. He would not trade his beloved brother for naught else. No amount of treasure or power would he trade him for. No poem, battle song or never dying glory would ease his pain.

For he was incomplete.

And could an incomplete person even exist?

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

By Mahal, he would take them all. He would kill them. Slash their bodies and spill their blood. End them.

They took his brother.

_He _took his brother.

And Kili, son of Dis, sister-son of Thorin Oakenshield, would avenge him.

Reckless? Young? Foolish?

Yes.

Three times yes to all of that.

For it did not matter.

His recklessness would give him courage to stand against so many enemies alone. His youth would give him energy to stand tall against them. His foolishness would give him a blind eye towards his own inevitable doom.

For it did not matter.

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

Could an incomplete person even exist?

Could a person perish from anger? From such immense pain that he felt as if his soul would burn through his body, leaving his flesh in a pile of ash.

Such pain. Unimaginable pain.

His chest was so full of _pressure_. Of tangible rage that felt like thousands burning spikes driven through his flesh.

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

It did not bring him ease. It did not bring him peace.

It only filled him with more rage. With pure fire, as if the great Forger himself lit its flames in his cold body of stone.

Countless had fallen. Countless. His sword ended lives of so many. So many... Dead were beyond count. Death was beyond measure.

But it was not enough. It would never be enough.

As he was ascending the stairs, a tall orc faced him, losing his head before he could even understand what was happening. Kili would not be derailed. He would not be thrown off his path. Of a path that was really leading nowhere.

For where could he go? Where could he _be_? What could he do to ease the raging pain that was boiling his blood and blurring his vision?

Even if he knew what to do, where to go... would he? Did he want to live on without his brother? Did he want to continue this empty existence, living as an empty shell...

Another orc. Another clash of metal on metal. Another dodge of the fatal blow. Another hit. Another spring of black blood. Another accursed monster sent to the void.

Time mattered not to him. Time stopped a while ego. Ever since his brother fell, every minute has been as long as the age of the earth itself.

If he cared for such things, he might have asked himself how long had he been slaying every orc that still drew breath. How long had he been there alone, like a flame in the snow, burning its way through the frost...

But time did not matter. Time had stopped.

Clash.

Dodge.

Aim.

Pierce.

Move on.

But his breath hitched in his throat. His heart skipped a beat. For he had heard a voice calling his name... Yet this voice was scared, filled with emotion and fear.

It was different from the mad screams echoing through his head.

The orc before him met his end. And again, his heart stopped.

"Kili!"

Her voice echoed through the emptiness. Through the cold air around him and the flames inside of him. It was her. Her. She was here.

She...

Tauriel.

It could not be.

It was not possible.

It could not be.

For she was worlds away. Walking in ethereal starlight, her beauty evergreen in the vastness of eternity. She was away. Oh, so far away. So far away from him...

Not..

Not here... Not here, with him...

Not here, looking for him... Trying to save his worthless life once more... Always...

Not...

No.

No.

No. Not her. Not her as well.

She could not be here.

Not. Here.

"Tauriel!"

A cry escaped his throat before he could grasp it. Before he could stop both fear and relief escaping his lungs.

She really was here.

But he was not.

He was not there.

He was an unworthy empty shell. Pain and rage eating through him ate away the poor remainder of him, leaving him completely empty.

He was _dead._

Yet still... The thought of her surrounded by the same dirty black stone that took away his brother... The thought of her... The thought of losing her...

No.

Not her.

Not her as well.

He had failed him. He had failed Fili. He had failed his brother.

He could not save him. He did not save him.

He was too far and too late.

He was worthless.

But her... Her he could save still.

Her he could save...

As another orc lost its sorry life on the end of his sword, he leapt towards the same stairs he had ascended moments before.

Or were it hours? Days?

He trailed the same sweet air that brought her voice to him, jumping over stones and dead bodies bathed in their own black blood.

She was not worlds away. Once again, she was there. So close. So near.

_Amrâlimê..._

She was here. Once again, she came for him. She called for him. The empty shell of a dwarf ran through the snow, holding onto her breath as onto life.

But her whimpers and cries reached him. And filled him with horror.

Not her.

No.

He had failed his brother. He would not fail her as well.

Not her...

She was there. Lying on the ground. Her fiery hair was sprawled over the dirty snow, like open flames warming the cold winter morning.

But her emerald eyes were scared. For she was holding no weapon. And an orc was nearing her...

Without a thought, without even a doubt, he leapt onto the devil's back. His sword missed its mark by only a little and the accursed orc blocked his attack.

His eyes met hers and relief washed over him. Her soft but immensely worried eyes brought him relief beyond hope.

And there, he found his relief. On the back of an orc, in a clash of swords, his pain eased. It would never truly go away, no... But he found a meaning. A goal. Something to hold onto.

The lone thought of saving her drove him forward. The thought of giving away everything he had ever had just to save her from the fear that worried those beautiful eyes...

It drove him.

It brought him back.

When thought dead, she brought him back.

When thought gone, she returned him.

All that mattered was she. Her safety.

He had failed his brother. He would not fail his love.

She would live. She would live on...

When the orc disarmed him and grabbed his throat, he felt neither fear no regret. For she would have enough time to flee and save her life.

But no. Once again, she tried to save him. Once again she tried to save his life when he was beyond saving. But she did not understand.

He needed not saving. Even if he could be saved no more, she had already saved him so utterly and entirely...

He had failed his brother. He would not fail her.

He would save her.

She would flee. She surely would. This orc would not be the end of her. She would go on and live a life full of starlight and happiness. And he would watch over her, only hoping for a glimpse of laughter in her eyes when she finally sees a firemoon...

When the cold steel pierced his chest, he felt pain... But it still could not overshadow the pain that already was there, though dulled. The empty void in his breast was still filled with acid, yet now a real hole formed. Now a blade pierced his heart, forcing it to stop.

Now his life would end.

He had failed his brother. But soon enough, he would fall on his knees before him and ask him for forgiveness. Soon enough they would be together.

Fili and Kili.

One would never go where the other could not follow.

But...

Why was she still there? Why could she not leave?

Why was she lying on the ground, so devastated and utterly broken? Tears trailed paths across her freckled skin, watering her green eyes...

Why was she crying?

She loved him. Oh, yes, she loved him. She loved him...

Maybe even as much as he loved her.

_Amrâlimê._._._

He would have given the last of his strength last just to wipe those tears away...

He would have given the last of his breath just to tell her those three simple words.

_I love you._

But breath hitched in his throat again. And now he could no longer catch it. His lungs felt like cold stone, unable to welcome the fresh air, releasing venomous pain instead.

His vision blurred. Shadows lurking on the edge were slowly creeping onwards. Light was blurred. Dimmed.

Yet still, he could see her. Her fiery hair and emerald eyes shone like his personal beacon in the night.

When blackness surrounded him, he still saw her, like a personal goddess guarding his soul.

But he could not speak. He could not tell her.

She knew.

He had said it already. He had used the secret, ancient language of his people. He had spoken the words only meant to be spoken between the two souls pledged to one another.

But still... He wanted to tell her.

He wanted her to know. Even if she knew already.

It was his last chance...

A tear escaped him. A tear of both happiness and grief.

For he had given all he could to save her. And she would be saved.

But he would never see her again.

Not in the afterlife. Not in the Halls of Awaiting, for she was not of his kind. The Light of the Eldar shining in her would never lead her to him.

It was only a dream.

But that dream was so very real.

Before the darkness claimed him, he smiled, for he could do no more.

Never would he tell her how she had saved him so completely. Never would he tell her how much he loved her...

Never...

Never would he taste the sweetness of her lips again. Nor hold her in his arms.

Never would they have a future.

It was only a dream.

But that dream... It was so very real.

He could see naught but darkness. Deep, black, cold darkness. His back hit the hard floor, but he felt neither pain nor discomfort. Where once was pain, pain was no more. Coldness first gripped his fingers, and slowly crept upon him. But it was cooling. Refreshing.

The darkness was before him, around him... _in_ him.

The cold... It was darkness itself. And the darkness was cold.

Deep inside of him... was it even inside of him? He felt the light... Light brighter than the darkness. But it too was inviting the shadows in. Calling for them. Welcoming them.

The darkness crept upon him, yet he dreaded it no more.

Parts of it before him were lighter, almost the colour of that granite stones he and Fili had discovered in the mines of Ered Luin. Upon death, the dwarves would return to stone, surely... Rich red lines, beautiful like the fires of the forge, broke the surface of the dark stone, dancing like flames in the night.

He remembered a fire so bright and emeralds so ethereal, it filled him with warmth. But where warmth came, soon coolness claimed its place. And he could not find it in him to object...

But then he heard. He heard a voice calling him. Crying for him. Moaning. Wailing... It was faint. Oh, so far away... Yet he heard it still.

Sad it was, the voice. Beyond sad. He could feel the grief within it as the cries became fainter. Slowly, oh so slowly the voice vanished. And he could hear it no more.

How many ages have passed? How many?

The never ending darkness consumed him so completely. He felt neither time nor life within him. Yet he still _felt_.

After ages of darkness, shadows became fainter. The comfortable coolness was slowly withdrawing its fingers off his body. Warmth was soon filling him, slowly, yet steadily... until he could feel life within him once more.

As if unsure, he slowly drew a small breath... a breath that filled his lungs with air so sweet...

Shadows were now gone. Golden light danced before his closed eyelids. A light strong, but so pure, so... beautiful...

When he opened his eyes, the light bothered him not. For it too was as sweet as the air.

His gaze met the ceiling so high, so pure... it seemed to be crafted from light itself. Beautiful it was. Breathtaking...

As Kili of the Line of Durin slowly stood up from whence he lied, his eyes met what he thought was gone.

An unruly mane of golden hair surrounded the beloved face of his brother. Of his fallen brother. Him who had died and was now standing before him with a warm smile on his lips.

Fili...

His uncle was beside him. Thorin. Looking younger than he had ever seen him. The greys in his hair were darker, the burden on his shoulders seemed lighter...

A small company of dwarves stood before him, all proud and regal in death as they were in life. He knew their faces even though he had never seen them before. Frerin. Thrain. Thror. His uncle, grandfather and great-grandfather all shared a warm smile pointed at him. And...

And...

And a young dwarf with unruly fair hair and blue eyes. Something about him... _all_ about him reminded him of his brother, only as if he had suddenly grew older...

It... It could not be... But in his heart, he knew it was.

As Kili lied his eyes on his father for the first time in his life, he knew he was where he belonged. He knew he was with his family... And they would help him bear the pain of loss throughout the eternity...

For he was now amongst the stars.

He was now the one far away. So far away. He was walking in starlight in another world.

He was now the one so far away. So far away from her.

Forever...

* * *

_**AN: **Gosh, I started writing this chapter, and I swear, I rewrote it a thousand times! I'm still not satisfied entirely._

_Please, please, please leave reviews. I really want tho know your thoughts on this._

_And remember - THIS IS NOT THE END!_

_Thank you for reading, and please, share your thoughts and feelings!_

_Cheers!_


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